I want to try an experiment; something I think you've tried before, but it has to be my choice for me to be able to accept it. I'm going to give us time apart. I won't call you for at least the next five days, five being the half-way point between now and when I get to see you. I considered waiting the entire ten, but I know I've had a hell of a time going two days without talking to you, so five will be an accomplishment and a starting point for me. If I can go five, then I can go ten. And when I can show myself that I can do it and be fine, I will no longer have to.
I am doing this for you just as much as I'm doing it for me. I denied it last night, but I do know that I'd be fine crying to you every night and letting you fix my problems for me. But I also know that you can't fix any of them, and even if you could, it's not hardly fair to make you try.
This in no way means that you can't call me. (I secretly hope that you will call me at least every couple days.) But I need you to want to talk to me and not call because I told you to. And if/when you want to get off the phone, don't let me keep you on, even if I'm crying. I will need to know that you love me, and if I'm doing better, I need you to encourage me and tell me that. Treat me like a small child if you must; that's about the level of my emotional stability at the moment anyway. I want you to be proud of me and think I'm a strong person again. You use to tell me those things, and those words have meant more to me in the past than you'll ever know. I want to be able to hear them again.
What I expect to accomplish here is some sort of balance. I know I can be strong when you need me, but you don't need me anymore. Knowing that upsets me quite a bit, because if you don't need me there's no reason for you to keep me around (unless I'm pretty enough to be your trophy girlfriend). I need to get to a point where I stop needing you enough for you to know that you can talk to me again. I need to be stable enough so that I can listen and you can trust me to listen well.