Tuesday, December 18, 2007

At work.

There is absolutely nothing going on today. Most people have gone home for the winter, so the office is pretty dead. I've got Tool turned up to keep me awake, but really I want to go home to my nice warm bed and take a nap with my doggy. I was up til two last night purging my insides into the toilet. Yesterday, I had made the brilliant decision to clean out the fridge by eating any leftovers that had been in there awhile. I didn't eat anything that was moldy or smelled funny, but apparently something was bad. Oops. Then i had to get up at six to get ready for work. What fun.

Ooo, mail's here. something to do...

Monday, December 10, 2007


The ten o'clock news said they had recent studies giving six reasons why sex is healthy. They only gave three. I was a bit disappointed. But the three they gave were interesting.

1. Sex once a week is shown to boost the immune system and help prevent colds. It's not helping my immune system so far though. Maybe I should try harder...

2. Sex four times a week is shown to make women look 7 - 12 years younger. I don't think I need that; I look young enough for now. I don't need to look like I'm twelve.

3. Sex burns four calories per minute. Woot!


On the way home from class I felt the need to step in or kick every pile of snow I passed on the sidewalk. Good thing my boots are waterproof, no? There was one particularly large pile I could see down the sidewalk near the Art Institute back entrance. Three, four feet tall maybe... it had to be kicked. As I approached it I gave it the strongest kick I could, spraying snow everywhere. I stepped back and watch chunks fall and splatter all over a car I hadn't before noticed, about a yard from the pile. I followed the snow as it fell on the roof and the hood and hit the windows, and then noticed the gentleman sitting in the front seat of the car. He was glaring at me with the coldest stare, as if I had just egged his dog or something. I apologized, but my headphones were on, so I'm not sure if I actual said it or just mouthed it. I guess he wouldn't have heard me anyway. Then I laughed and couldn't stop. I grinned all the way home. I found all the up beat songs I could sing to on the train. I don't know if I sang them out loud or just mouthed them. I'm sure the former would have annoyed the other passengers on the train.

I should work on that... making sure I don't sing out loud when my music is turned up a little loud.

"I will kiss you on the cheek, and you will call it treason."

Friday, December 07, 2007

You smell funny.

The crazy smells in Chicago assault my nose. And when I feel nauseous, like last week, every smell downtown make me feel like I have to vom. I just thought I'd share that.

I've been noticing smells more lately. And no, I'm not pregnant. I got on the train a few days ago and a scruffy looking guy in a beat up leather jacket sat down next to me. He smelled just like my first boyfriend, Derek. I couldn't figure out was it was at first, a specific cologne or something, but right before he got off I figured it out. It was the smell of cheap orange juice and vodka. I found that interesting.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Street Art?

"I realized that I don't care about your professional success. I want to know, when you are asleep at night, what you dream about."

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Retiring a quote....

"I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students when they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole." -Unknown

Monday, October 29, 2007


I don't write in this much anymore. I don't suppose I have a need to. But I'll update anyway just so I can keep putting off that paper I have to write before noon tomorrow.

I had a little bit of a breakdown Saturday and yesterday, but I think everything is good again. Or will be soon, so I can stop stressing for now. I found I need to change a few things, especially my work habits, and actually make something for once. I'm going to art school and not making any art. I want to paint more than anything right now, so I'm going to bring my paints to figure drawing tonight. That's a start.

However, I also found that I really need to learn to loosen up. I was told I should get drunk or smoke pot. I don't think I should have to do those things to be comfortable around people, but I need to do something. I took a drag off a friend's cigarette when he went inside for something. It didn't make me feel any calmer, though I suppose one drag wouldn't; it just burned my throat and made me cough.

I don't know what I'm going on about exactly. I have a lot of things on my mind, but most I can't write about on here.

And now I have a Cheechy dog begging for my attention, so I'll go play with her and then write that paper.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


I need people to hang out with. I'm bored. and a bit lonely.

Saturday, August 11, 2007


I just realized how unhealthy I am. I had cold pizza for breakfast and cookie dough for lunch. That's gross. At least there was a little spinach on the pizza.


I'm almost not a teenager anymore, just five more months or so. And that's got me thinking. I've had more than a handful of people tell me this summer that I don't act my age, but older. Shane's told me a couple times that I act more his age than he does, and he's about to turn thirty. One of his friends thought I was at least twenty-five. I suppose this can attributed to the fact that I've spent all summer hanging out with people no younger than 23, since everyone my age left for their respective homes. And up until now I've quite enjoyed it.

But now I'm wondering if I missed something. Should I have spent more time acting like a teenager instead of rushing to be an "adult?" But then don't all teenagers try to rush growing up?

I don't know. I guess everyone has their own pace, and it's not liek i can go back and redo it. But some days I feel too old for my age. I want to be able to have more fun, especially with people my age. I spend too much time taking too many things seriously.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

brain fart.

I had something ot write, but I forget what it was. I can think of a lot of things I could write about, but not which one I told myself to write about when I got home. Oh well.

"faith is the believing that everytime you must jump, either your feet will find ground or you will be taught to fly."

Sunday, May 06, 2007

I wish I considered myself an artist.

I started keeping a real journal. One of those handwritten ones in a sketchbook that I'd been wanting to buy for years with different sections of colored pages. I write in that now when I need to. I'll just use this to post fun things I come across online or stuff I want to remember. So, if you read this (which you apparently are doing now) don't expect much. Not that I ever posted much to begin with.



I feel sad, but I have no reason to, and I know it. I'm starting to think I do it for the attention...

Saturday, April 21, 2007

“People who are homeless...

...are not social inadequates. They are people without homes.”
-Sheila McKechnie

The homeless beggars are almlost always mentally unstable, and usually one can tell this by the fact that they almost always talk to themselves. One I passed today though made me stop and think. He was talking to himself, but sounded like he was going over a conversation he'd once had. "I said baby, I told ya, I asked why we gotta keep fighting like this? I asked my wife, I said, 'why we gotta keep fighting like this? It doesn't have to be like this'..."

Friday, April 20, 2007

Why do I still feel so bleh?

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."


Friday, March 09, 2007

mmm hmmm. yep.

"Tattooings are not only ornaments... they are not only emblems of nobility and symbols of rank in the social hierarchy; they are also messages fraught with spiritual and moral significance... not only to imprint a drawing onto the flesh but also to stamp onto the mind all the traditions and philosophy of the group."

- Claude Levi-Strauss

to do:
* narrow idea, subject
* find and decide on words . . .
* practice on oranges or pig legs
* meet Sara, noon Monday, Sharp Building

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


I walked through the park to class instead of the busy streets. Listening to music thanks to Ray's iPod, I was in quite a good mood. I passed a park security guard and smiled. He grinned and told me that he wished everyone would smile like I did.

So, smile.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

More to store.

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Tuesday, February 27, 2007


"A man only truly knows himself when he can say 'I dreamt I killed a man. And I liked it.' "

"When you have to jump, know that one of two things will happen. Either your feet will find ground or you'll learn how to fly."

"In a world dedicated to distraction, silence and stillness terrify us."

"My life isn't worth living without LOVE."

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Live through this, and you won't look back..." Stars

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


I need a hug.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007


I drove my car yesterday. It hadn't been run since friday (less than a week) and the bettery had already died. I assume from the cold as it has been wicked-ass cold and my car is outside in a parking lot. I asked a fwe people to help me jump my car, and finally caught some guy about to leave the parking lot. He said he didn't know how, which didn't matter because I didn't need him to know how, I just needed his car, but I thought it was common knowledge for any car owner to know how to jump a vehicle. He also didn't have any jumper cables and said it was the first time he'd ever opened the hood of his car. I said "oh, is it new?" Nope. He'd had it over a year. . . . ? I was quite surprised. I guess I probably shouldn't be, but everyone should know how to jump a car, no?

So, as I said, I drove my car yesterday, and decided that it would be a good idea to at lesat start it up again today so the battery won't be dead by friday when I plan on driving home for the weekend. I took the subway down State street to the parking lot. At the foot of the stairs up to the street was a bum lying across the floor and a cop standing beside him telling people to just step over him. By just glancing at the bum, he looked slightly uncomfortable, like he'd managed to get himself frozen to the ground or something stupid like that. But I walked by and went up to my car, taking note of the blue flashing lights across the street and an ambulance/fire dept. vehicle pulling up behind them. The car had a bit of trouble starting, but it did start. After one day, it had nearly died again. I'm going to assume it's just the cold weather, but I should probably get the alternator tested soon just in case.

Anyway, sitting in my car, waiting for it to warm up, I saw two college-aged kids and a black guy come out of the subway and walk over to the fence right beside my car. The black guy had his back up against the fence, and the shorter college kid kept looking around suspiciously. The taller kid started patting down the black guy and took out a cd player and wallet from the guys pockets, so, assuming he was being robbed, I held down the horn of my car while I reached for my cell phone. The two guys just looked irritated and shot me dirty looks before showing me their police badges. Apparently they weren't college kids. oops.

So, a few minutes later I drove off, came back to my parking spot, and walked down to the subway. The cops and the ambulancy-vehicle thing were all gone, but frozen to the ground where the bum had been was the remains of a cut up jacket. Apparently he had been frozen there.

So, that was my evening. exciting. I hope my car works tomorrow.

Monday, February 05, 2007


I just realized whilst messing around that the comment settings were limited to other Blogger users only. That's changed now, so you can leave me messages too!

*hint hint*


Saturday, February 03, 2007


Without the windchill, it's -1 degree(s) outside. I don't think I want ot know what the "real feel" temperature is.

I went to Target to buy some gloves and boots, and a few other things. They didn't have any gloves. And they didn't have any boots. (Other than a few pairs in the men's which were far too large and a few in little boys which were far too small.) So, disappointed, I bought everything else I needed, paid, and left.

I stepped outside and my hands imediately began to burn from the wind, so, carrying bags in each hand, I pulled my coat sleeves as far around my hands as possible for the two block walk to the subway. By the time I made it that far, my fingers were red and completely numb. I couldn't unbend them from around the bags to get my U-Pass out of my pocket. After a few minutes, they started to tingle and burn again.

I have never experienced cold that severe before. I'm not going outside again for awhile. I'll buy some gloves on eBay and have them mailed to me here.

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Oh yeah,

and I did drive today. It made me happy. And I now have a parking lot, so I don't have to worry about my car anymore. Jante and Eric went with me driving around the city. Eric directed me to a gas station, and then to a very good Japanese restaurant for dinner, and then back to our street so I could find my new parking lot. I think I'll need to buy an ice scraper before I take it out again though, as the lot's above ground and not covered. Oh well.

Eric suggested a short road trip to Green Bay in Wisconsin sometime this semester. I'm excited about that. I like roadtrips, and a bay sounds nice. :D

Anyway. I had a nice evening. That's all.

Quote of the day:

"It's hard to tell when to suck or when to blow, and which hole to suck when and which to blow."

(Slightly paraphrased statement about learning to play the harmonica. Perhaps it was funnier in person. :\ )

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

woo. back at school.

MMM...here's a list of random new things that I may expand upon later:

I got a new journal...one that requires a pen, not a keyboard. I like it.

I'm going to a meeting in a couple hours to be an RA next year.

I get to drive tomorrow! To a parking lot! and around...because I like to drive.

I liked class today. It made the Bible interesting- as a piece of literature, not religion.

I need my boyfriend. My hormones are driving me crazy. And I miss him terribly.

I have guppies now! I used to think guppies were ugly simple looking fish, but they're not. They're pretty.

I have to go to art history tomorrow. :(

The high Saturday is nine (09) degrees, not including the wind chill.

I think I should start exercising, but I lack the motivation.

I still haven't completely unpacked.

I want to paint, but I'd rather nap.

I'm going to go nap now, before my meeting.

Bye bye.

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Been awhile...

I actually had something earlier that I wanted to remind myself to write about, and I remembered to write, but not what it was to write about. So...an overall update:

I'm at my Dad's. yay. I like this town. It's a nice escape. I'm actually really looking forward to going back to Chicago though. I want my room back. Out of the five or so places I have to "live" in at this moment, my dorm's the only one that feels like "home." I just wish Sam could be there too.

I miss him already. I'm in the same city, but it's my first night in awhile not sleeping beside him. That makes me kinda sad. and that means Chicago's gonna be quite lonely.