Thursday, November 13, 2008

From cave painting to pills.

My Psych teacher seems convinced that the only direction art can go in the future is into the form of a pill or brain cap. The purpose of art now is to stimulate, question, or evoke some kind of a reaction. In most cases, it's about the experience, not the literal piece.

So, logically, with time, the actual pieces won't need to exist at all, only the experience. Artists will become chemists and scientists. They will find the exact way to evoke the reaction and experience they want for their viewers through a pill or contraption that stimulates the exact spots in the brain that give that specific response.

That scares me a little bit. Even if I don't believe it.

Sunday, November 02, 2008

I'm not liking apartment buildings.

It's 2 am and I've been kept awake for two reasons. 1- I can't find my tylenol pm. and 2- a neighbor has rudely been playing his stereo for the past three hours. I can only hear it in my bedroom, and it sounds like it comes through the ceiling. There's almost always music playing from this guy, but 2 am is a bit much. I know it's a saturday night, but still. I usually work on Sundays, and if I were working tomorrow I'd be even more pissed off.

Anyway...about half an hour ago I got fed up and went upstairs to 3B to ask him to turn the music down. I've never actually met the guy in 3B, but he didn't answer anyway. Weird part, it looked like all his lights were off and I couldn't hear the music in the hall, only in my bedroom. Either way, I knocked, no answer. Knocked louder, no answer. I took a broom to my ceiling, dented the ceiling, but got no response and the music remained loud. I went outside and rang the obnoxious buzzer/door bell to 3B. Three times, no response. I was headed back upstairs to try to look for my tylenol pm again when I noticed noise in the coming from 1B, below me. I knocked on their door, and the volume went down.

Crazy old buildings have crazy acoustics. I hope to god 3B wasn't home. I'm sorry.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I'm hungry, but I have to walk over to the grocery to get food before I can cook, and then finally eat. And I'm not hungry enough to go through all that yet.

I need to pay bills tonight and find out how much I can put towards a parking space. The empty spaces in the alley behind the building are $110! And that's per month, not quarter or semester. The locked, secured lot up the street is $125, and a guy a couple buildings over said the garage there is $80, but I bet (if that is even accurate,) that it's just for residents, and it would be more like 100+ for me. I'm a bit sad. Finding a place to park is so stressful that I have pretty much stopped driving. With the exception of my stained glass class and trips out of the city, I really don't drive anywhere at all.

I had thought about things I wanted to write in my blog, but now I can't remember any of them.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Suki Suks [sic]

Bo is a neighbor I just met tonight. Lives one floor up with the yappy dog.

Me: Are you waiting for a ride?
Bo: No, I'm trying to sell my car. I'm waiting for someone to come back with a check.
Me: Which car are you selling?
Bo: I just bought that one (points) so I'm getting rid of a Tracker.
Me: Oh! I've seen the Tracker. I've got a Sidekick.
Bo: The grey one?
Me: Yeah.
Bo: So you're the crooked one that doesn't know how to park.

Bo says his dog is "an indoor dog" and that he doesn't take him outside very often. How sad! and ridiculous. Why own a dog then? That's what cats are for.

Thursday, October 02, 2008


I was walking to class after work with Julia and we passed a taxi driver struggling to change a flat tire. I wondered aloud if I should see if he needed help, briefly acknowledged the fact that no one in this city would stop to help me (unless my boobs were falling out of my shirt or something,) and then continued with our previous conversation. Julia instead asked, "well, are you going to ask him?" So I did. He was trying to loosen the last nut on the flat before raising the car up. He already had the jack in the right place and the spare out and ready, but couldn't turn that last lug nut. When I asked if he needed help, he replied "You think you're stronger than me?" Which sounds a bit testy now that I think about it, but I replied honestly, "No, but maybe we could both get it." He had one of those cross bar things with different sized sockets at each end. He pushed down his end and I pulled up on the other, and it loosened up immediately. I don't know if he had doubted me or something, but as soon as it loosened he gave me a hug and asked where I was headed. I was only a block away from class and being that it would take him another 10 minutes to get the spare on, I told him not to worry about it.

That night after class when i was walking to the bus stop, I passed a guy crawling on the sidewalk on all fours, looking around at everyone. He didn't look like a bum, but he could have been I suppose. Either way, right before i passed him, he flopped down on the ground and stopped moving, like he was playing dead. I paid him no attention, but looked over my shoulder a few times to see if anyone else did. I'm sure everyone around me had seen the same thing and knew he wasn't actually sick or injured, but even those that may not have known didn't stop to help. I doubt anyone did. Isn't that disappointing?

Monday, September 08, 2008

It's not getting better,

but on the upside, it's not getting worse either. I miss my boyfriend and want hugs right now. He called, talked with a bad connection for a few minutes, and I cried the second I hung up. Then I got mad at myself for crying, for I have a million other things i should be doing instead. So I took a hot bath, drank some orange soda, and told myself I'd do my homework, but instead, am on my blog and on facebook. I guess I'll be up late tonight.

Still stressed out about money, and now worried about not having enough time to do my work, in addition to not having enough money for it. I have expensive interests.

I might be picking up a fourth shift at work. Tonight Adam offered me Mondays, said he hasn't found anyone else who can do it. I'd be working with Julia, and I do love Julia. And I do need the money. But that's another 7.5 hours, not counting the lunch break. I'm already at 20 a week. Can I handle that...nearly 28 hours a week plus 15 credits in school? I want it. I'll see I guess. My stained glass class would interfere for a few weeks, but I bet he'd let me work around that and leave a couple hours early.

I have to bitch about the cta, and then I need to finish my homework. I got on the red line earlier this evening and noticed the girl across from me making odd faces. The train was eerily quiet, and the lights had flickered off and back on, but that happens all the time. I caught her glance, and she took out her earphones to inform me that the train had been acting weird, making bad noises. Sure enough, within seconds, this strange grinding sound came from under us and the lights went completely out (with the exception of the emergency lights.) After a few minutes of sitting patiently with the doors closed, not moving, the conductor informed the passengers that the "power had been removed, uh lost" and that it should only be a few minutes before we're moving again. By the time most people had become frustrated and left, he announced that all northbound redline trains would be rerouted to the elevated tracks. So an entire train of people, half not hearing the message and asking everyone else what's going on, had to get off a walk the couple blocks to the el station and wait for a redline train to get us up there. When one came, it was packed with twice the number of passengers as usual. I grabbed a seat, finished my book within a few stops, found out my iPod wasn't charged, and then, about five stops from home, got kicked off to wait for yet another train because the one I was on decided to run express, right past my stop. I was pretty irritable by the time I got home, over an hour and a half after leaving work.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Give a Dog a Bone

I gave my dog a bone a couple weeks ago, one of those knotted rawhide things that stinks of "bacon flavor." He gnawed and gnawed and managed to finish part of it the other day, but the other half he's being really lazy about. Right now, he's laying across his bed, feet tucked it all cozy like, with his head stretched out in front of him, bone at the tip of his nose. Every time he licks it, it gets pushed away a little bit, and he just tries to stretch his neck further to reach it again each time. He's so cute. and lazy. Aw, and now he caught me watching him and got up.

Monday, August 25, 2008

No no no

I keep thinking about kids lately, and babies. I really don't want any, but they keep popping up in my thoughts anyway. Is that normal? Is it some natural, procreative, built-in thing in my brain that is forcing these ideas into my head without permission?

At Target the other day I found myself looking at the adorable baby things and decorating a nursery in my head (it would be yellow by the way, with giraffes.) Then at REI's website, I found myself looking at the strollers page. Then today, while in the shower, I had his crazy train of thought that somehow led me to wondering how I would teach my daughter how to shave if I myself decided to stop shaving from now on. Daughter? What daughter?! That's not cool. I Don't Want Kids! Please keep them out of my head. wtf.

Sunday, August 03, 2008


I've been having breakfast problems for the past few days. I'd been eating an egg or two with cheese, on toast for the past two-three weeks and suddenly got sick of it. But Nicole keeps telling me I need more protein, and what other easy breakfast foods are there besides eggs with protein? I don't suppose bacon can really substitute with its high fat content. So this morning I decided on a smoothie, with some of that protein powder that I've been sending to Eric. It's strawberry flavored, so I figured it should go well with the frozen strawberries and blueberries in my freezer.

I got everything I needed, and moved the blender into the living room so the noise wouldn't wake up Shane. Added some mango juice to the fruit and then three scoops of the powder. The container says 3 scoops for a 12 oz drink, and my smoothies tend to be more than 12 oz, but I wasn't sure how it would take so I didn't put it more than that. I mixed it all up. The blender seemed to have some problems mixing it thoroughly and I realized I probably should have added the powder after the fruit had been mixed. Oh well, it got the job done eventually.

I very carefully took everything back into the kitchen, trying to keep as quiet as possible with Shane's open door right there. Then I suddenly drop the smaller piece to the lid to the blender, it noisily bangs across the kitchen tiles three- four times before I get to it. Then I grab a glass and quietly try to pour my smoothie. This time, the entire lid falls off with a crash, spilling over half of the contents onto the stove. So much for being quiet. Luckily there was still enough in my glass that all of this effort had not been in vain. I clean up the mess and finally get to the smoothie that I've worked so hard for.

And it's disgusting. The "strawberry" powder taste is overwhelming and awful. I can't even taste the pounds of fruit that went into the mix. I am extremely disappointed and will never try this again. So I'm back to needing good breakfast ideas.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008


I get so bored at work that I search online for things to do, and then end up spending money ordering something. Kinda defeats the purpose of going to work, doesn't it? I need to stop.

Sunday, July 13, 2008


I have both dehydrators on. One with six trays of jerky, the other with a tray of bananas and one of strawberry puree (hopefully to turn into fruit leather.) mmm yum.

Friday, July 11, 2008


I'm not doing a vary good job of keeping my food log. I haven't written down the pancake I had for breakfast, the soda or salad I had for lunch, or the chicken and rice I just ate.

I'm going to go to Blick to get a scrapbook photo album thing to make, and then to Kohl's to get a new bra. I made a sun dress today, but it's a halter with a low back and I don't have a bra that I could wear with it. I don't know if they make bras like that. I should stop by the grocery while I'm out too.

Tomorrow I need to move Shane's car out of the garage so I can pull mine in. I need to replace the horn, change the oil, and put in the new door handle. It would be nice to have the garage and not have to work under the train.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

I'm amazed.

It's six o'clock. In the evening. And I haven't done anything today, except sit in front of the computer. I haven't even gotten dressed today.

Two weeks is kind of a long time.

The roommates are out of town. It's kinda lonely. But I do enjoy getting to run around the house naked with the stereo up. No tv for two weeks!

Wednesday, July 02, 2008


I had another dream about my doggy dying last night. I took him to the vet to get his lumps and bumps checked out. They put him under anesthesia and moments later came back to tell me he had a bad reaction to it because he's getting old and died. I tried explaining to them that I didn't want to get a puppy since I wouldn't have time to take care of it. I cried so hard in my dream I woke up crying. Cody-dog was sleeping against my legs as usual, very much still alive.

Later, after I'd fallen back asleep, Andrea, Brittany, and I were at a sports game of some sort, I think it was soccer. One of the players from a really famous team came bouncing up to us all crazy and excited. We didn't know his name, but knew he was famous, so we got out a stuffed animal that was the mascot of the team as well as a disposable camera. Andrea put her arm around the guy and I pushed a button on the animal's head that made it snap a picture and make a funny animal noise. Then the guy came bouncing over to me and Brittany took the animal/camera, but he bounced off again before she got the picture. Later, I had this wonderful idea to invite Andie and Brittany over to decorate cupcakes that had already been baked. I asked Brittany, but she said she didn't eat cupcakes, didn't I know that? "Well you could still have fun decorating them, couldn't you?" I replied. But no. I was disappointed and left.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Suki has issues.

Everything to be fixed, from important to trivial:

* oil burning at start- replace main gasket or all seals and gaskets
* gas gauge does not work- replace rusted wiring and leader
* speedometer does not work- replace plastic gears and remove dash to replace needle
* horn dies- replace
* A/C is cold, but squeals- check belt and air compressor
* driver door handle only partially works- reinsert spring
* battery is loose- ties downs needed
* front grill emblem missing- replace

Friday, June 20, 2008


That's one of the crazy skies I saw today, though the most amazing one I didn't get to photograph. It was like an HD postcard or something.

I'm at a Super 8 in Utica, NY for the night. I miss Err already and I'm sick of driving.

Friday, May 09, 2008

I'm at least glad that my hands aren't fat yet.

I had crazy dreams last night. I went to bed super early, around 9, woke up at 5, and then forced myself back to sleep until almost 10.

At one point I was driving down a narrow road at night and as I went through an even darker tunnel a man crossed the street in front of me. My horn still didn't work, and I barely missed hitting him when I suddenly saw a woman that had been walking with him. I jerked the car to the right toward the empty on-coming lane, but still hit her with the back left side of the car. Someone came to help, a police officer or something, but I couldn't do anything except cry and scream that I'd killed someone.

Later in the morning, I was with Eric and Cody in the car. We'd driven up to Maine to start the hike and I suddenly realized that I had brought Cody when dogs weren't allowed on the trail. I started freaking out and Eric found a vet for me to take Cody. He said it was a Banfield, so he'd be fine. When I got there there was one woman in the dark, empty office. She said they would take care of him. I was already upset about having to leave my dog somewhere strange for over two weeks, when she locks him in an empty room with no food or toys or anything. I start sobbing uncontrollably. I woke up wwith Cody sleeping besdie me, curled up against my back.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008


I sat in the sculpture garden by the AI a couple times yesterday. Both time I saw multiple people walk through and stop to take a photo of the tulips. It was always the same batch of tulips; not the ones across the sidewalk or to the left, but the same tulips. Eventually I decided to take a photo too. I didn't have my camera, so I used my phone.

Different topic... When I stepped off the bus earlier this evening, there was an old man sitting on the bench at the bus stop. He had tufts of white hair around the top of his head, but I couldn't see his face as he was staring at the sidewalk. He looked as I remember my great grandpa looking. Beside him was one of those huge glass jugs of cheap wine that I've seen at the grocery for around ten bucks. It was half empty. It was beautiful in this weird, distant way.

I really wanted my camera, but didn't feel right going inside to get and it coming back out.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Monday, April 21, 2008

Stupid Bus.

The past three times I've taken the bus I've gotten mildly car sick- headache, nauseous, not too bad, but obnoxious. Maybe it's because I usually read on the bus? Or because I eat right before? I don't know. whatever. I'm taking the train tomorrow. Unless it's raining.

When I was getting off the bus, a guy sitting by the exit tapped me on the arm and told me that I should smile. He'd been flipping a quarter over his knuckles the whole ride. hm.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Blog Blog Blob

I keep a public blog online where anyone can access it, and even have an indirect link to it on my Facebook, and yet I'm always surprised and occasionally confused when I find out someone does read it. I never know what to think. Weird.

So, something I found on Facebook today, an artist, Guillermo Vargas "Habacuc," in Costa Rica tied a stray dog up to the wall of an art gallery and let it starve to death. He wrote, "I knew the dog died on the following day from lack of food. During the inauguration, I knew that the dog was persecuted in the evening between the houses of aluminum and cardboard in a district of Managua. 5 children who helped to capture the dog received 10 bonds of córdobas for their assistance. The name of the dog was Natividad, and I let him die of hunger in the sight of everyone, as if the death of a poor dog was a shameless media show in which nobody does anything but to applaud or to watch disturbed. In the place that the dog was exposed remain a metal cable and a cord. The dog was extremely ill and did not want to eat, so in natural surroundings it would have died anyway; thus they are all poor stray dogs: sooner or later they die or are killed."

Most of the links from Facebook say that the dog died of starvation shortly after the show. Another article though says that the dog was fed when the gallery was closed and that he escaped. I don't really believe the latter, but I don't know what to think either way. I don't understand how this is "art" though.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Pushy pushy pushy.

I bought a new sketchbook today. It is my new RWB.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008


I'm gonna make one of these:

I bought the Altoids today. Now I have to find someone to eat all of them.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Natal Chart

Sarah emailed me my Natal Chart that takes my birthday/time with the sun/moon/planets et cetera to describe my personality. Most of it is dead-on, so I thought i share a few parts.

"More than anything, Lunar Sagittarians have a need for personal freedom and space. They are extraordinarily happy and easygoing folk, as long as they don't feel caged in or cooped up. Lunar Sagittarians have a simultaneous need for activity. Meeting new people, going out in the world, and travel are all important to their sense of well-being. They love open spaces, and, in their homes, a roomy and bright environment. . . They easily forget appointments and the like, and some are even considered irresponsible. . . Many people with this position are outdoorsy types. At the very least, they have a great love for friendly competition. When the going gets tough, these people run away. They don't like to be caught up in routine for too long, and they simply need to escape. There's a blind faith in Lunar Sagittarians that is admirable. They simply believe that everything will work out. Not much for making detailed plans, they prefer to wing it. They're very adaptable and generally on the go."

"Deep down, she believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps her to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of her best qualities is tolerance. Usually, she doesn't take life too seriously in the sense that she believes in having a bit of fun. her hunches are more often than not bang-on."

"Her mind compartmentalizes impressions, and she appreciates structure and order. The mind learns best when it can see practical uses for information. Resourceful, reflective, deep thinker: a fine and vivacious mind. Undertakes lengthy studies or, if circumstances do not allow, will teach herself. A rational person. Can be pessimistic, skeptical, and sarcastic, possessing a very sharp sense of humor. Notices everything."

"They are conservative and willing to commit. Venus in Capricorn people are attracted to serious, goal-oriented lovers. They are a little shy in matters of the heart, but they don't want you to know it. "

"She is generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered. She is drawn towards the Arts, music, song. She likes gatherings, parties. She has big emotional highs. Peaceful life in love... Her professional life is unstable. She has a taste for the Arts, is a dreamer, is easily influenced and romantic. She is emotional and very sensitive."

"She undertakes daring and dangerous enterprises. She has lots of initiative. She works hard for her money, of which she earns a lot. She is a spendthrift, money comes and goes. She is always ready to start from scratch in the event of a setback. Great willingness and enthusiasm."

"She is intuitive, sensitive. Not a fighter and is indecisive. May have some identity problems until she decides on a more spiritual or artistic path."

Thursday, January 24, 2008

First day back to class!

And first day back on my period! bleh.

I had my iPod walking home and for some reason was listening to all of the songs that make me a little bit sad. Sad in a good way, but sad none-the-less. A couple blocks from my house I crossed to street and saw a guy helping up an old lady who had apparently slipped on the snow and fallen by the curb. She'd hurt her knee, and I could see she was starting to cry. I kept walking, but within a few steps I had tears in my eyes.

Sunday, January 06, 2008

I want to go camping.

And am thus slightly regretting volunteering to work everyday this week. oops.