Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Fighting/avoiding the roommate has persisted for an entire month now. After half a bottle of wine and half a Xanax, I gathered enough strength to tell him I'm moving out. After that went horribly (yet still better than expected) I took the dog over to Justin & Jason's, realized I shouldn't have driven even that short distance after the wine+meds+anger combo and promptly zoned out. I barely remember making it to Justin's bed to pass out and woke up in the morning to find him and his girlie sleeping on the couch together. I'm so grateful for my friends. They take care of me.

Im so ready for this drama to be over. Looking at an apartment with Amanda in the morning so I should go sleep. Oh! And I might have a "date" on Friday. Get excited!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Kentucky weekend

It's so much warmer there. I can't believe it's supposed to snow tomorrow.

Spent the weekend with my favorite sisters...Ju and I made pumpkin pie and carved jack-o-lanterns. We all three went to get matching - sorry, coordinating- tattoos. Ju hasn't gotten hers yet since she wasn't sure where to put it, but Rach and I got ours on our wrists.

I slept most of the car ride home, and ended up sleeping on my fresh tattoo quite a bit. It hurts now.

I also spent too much time on petfinder.com and found this guy...

I haven't met him yet, but I really want to. I can't stop thinking about getting another dog.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

another missed connection :)

The blue line's all jenked still so I've been biking even more and carrying my bike around with me everywhere, even when I do take the train.

Tonight I got on to come home and, since the train car was barely half full, sat down with my bike up against me, completely out of the way of anyone. A guy (drunk I assume) comes crossing cars and manages to bump into the front of my bike, and then proceeds to follow that bump with a harsh kick to the back tire. I figure he's an ass and ignore him as usual. The guy across from me though seems to be much more offended and possibly even a bit pissed off. He gestures to me something that indicates the bum is doing something perverse involving his pants. The bum had quite intentionally placed his rear end up against the glass beside my head, so I continue to ignore him and turn both myself and my bike away.

Point of the story is, in the meantime, the guy sitting across from me had put down his book, moved a seat closer, and kept a very close eye on the drunk/bum guy. And while I'm all for the strong-independent-woman-taking-care-of-herself-thing, I am still also totally for having complete strangers care. It really did mean a lot to me, knowing someone was watching out for my safety.

Thank you friend.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

update? or just a bit of stream-of-consciousness babble

I keep wanting to write something, but I don't actually have much to say. Occasionally, I come across something and think "I should post that!" but I never do and it apparently is never interesting enough for me to remember later to follow through.

I just heard two gunshots. I don't really like this neighborhood.

And I really don't like how far from the train I am. I'm coming down with a cold of some sort and having not considered the chance of rain when I woke this morning, did not dress appropriately for the downpour I had to bike through in the dark to get home. I had to keep my head down to keep the rain out of my eyes, and watching the wet ground pass my tires made me feel motion sick. I can only imagine the complaints I'll have when there's a foot of snow and ice on the ground come February.

I met up with Brian the other day, not the roommate but the pirate. We had lunch and I took an extra hour getting back to class since I hadn't seen him in awhile. He mentioned something about trying to learn how to be a medium, and I of course had to ask if mediums could talk to dogs. He didn't say yes, but instead basically told me that I should start paying attention to the energies around me, and that chances are he's usually close by. He said dogs stick around for a long time. I'm certainly not a wiccan, nor am I sure I believe in ghosts of any sort, but I like the idea and I hope he's close by. And now I'm crying again. It's been a little over two months and I still break down in random public places whenever I think about it.

On a happier, pet-related note, Hazel kitty is mine for good. Her former owner finally sent me a message on facebook that said I could keep her. I had already decided awhile ago that she was mine, but getting the confirmation was exciting. I love this cat. I overslept by two hours this morning so I could kitty-cuddle. It was nice.

Oh, and I'm currently (and passively) looking for a home for Gali girl, the great dane. I think Lara might take her, but we haven't talked about it lately. If anyone knows anyone that might want a dane, please send them my way. She's a great dog, just too much for me right now.

She's still pretty skinny, and neighbors have been calling animal control on me. They've come by twice now, and both times said there wasn't a problem, but the neighbors are persistent. Twice someone has left food and water inside the front gate. If they paid any attention, they'd see her consistently filled food and water bowls by the back door. I'm also annoyed that they don't simply call me first and ask about her. My phone number is on her tag, and I've had plenty on other neighbors ask about her when I'm outside.

Whatever. I'm going to go pass out and try really hard not to be sick.

Pet pictures follow just for fun.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009


I stayed at Helene's last night in Uptown. 4:45am I'm wide awake and I hear a drive-by shooting. Seven to eight loud pops, breaking glass, tires squealing away on a suped-up ricer. I freaked out a little bit, wondered if I should call the police or if it was all in my head. Twenty minutes later I got up the courage to peer out the window across the porch and saw a fire truck pulling up to an ambulance and a variety of police cars. Cops were walking through the yard across the street and waving the fire truck on as there was no fire. They all were gone within a few minutes.

After debating whether to run and hide in Helene's bed with her, I went back to the couch and eventually fell back asleep. I had a few crazy dreams, but in the one I remember most clearly, Rachel and Dad were with me in my car, trying to park in a parking garage. I finally found a spot, but as I pulled in a huge bulldozer/garbage truck/monster truck pulled in behind me and smashed my car into a brick wall. We got out fine, but both ends crumpled like and empty soda can. I woke up, freaked out again thinking my car no longer existed, and then thinking I had to move it (I parked at a meter spot last night,) but it was only seven, so I fell back asleep for an hour.

Finally went to move my car and there was a man and a woman standing by it. The man pointed to the taxi parked in front of me. I noticed it's horrible parking job (not surprising for a taxi,) an then noticed it's rear bumper smashed into my front bumper. Besides my license plate falling off just a little more than before, my car was fine; his was not. His front end was totaled, windows broken, side smashed in too. While i was trying to work out in my head how you total a car and parallel park it into my car, the woman said that the taxi also pushed me into the red car that had been parked behind me. Sure enough I walk to my back bumper and there's red paint and a few deep scratches. Still perfectly drivable, but very odd.

Drive by and car accident in one night?

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

I just kinda got hit on, but with no pick up lines. I'm a bit disappointed. Very handsome blue eyed Brit named Simon. He passed me in the train station and stopped to tell me he liked my hair (coincidence?), asked what neighborhood I lived in in Chicago, where I was headed, my name, said I was beautiful and then left. Really? He really should've asked for my number.

Monday, May 04, 2009

L Conversation

-So what are you studying?
-I got to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago...
-I study art, like photography and painting and stuff like that.
-Are there any jobs doing that?
-Not really, we'll see.
-So why are you studying that? Seems like a waste.
-Well, because I enjoy it.
(akward pause)
-I'm pretty used to being broke; I'm not too worried about it.
-Can't be broke forever though. You gotta enjoy life.
-Well, that's why I'm studying art.
(more silence)
-I know, it doesn't make much sense. This is my stop...
-Good luck

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Is being impulsive really such a bad thing? I can act rather impulsively, like when I ran out and bought a mini-fridge the second my first one died, despite the fact that I never actually needed the first one. Or like two days ago, when I withdrew nearly all of my savings to buy a car. I waited nearly three days between deciding I wanted the car and actually buying it, but three days is really not very long for such a large purchase. I think Rachel still wants to kick my ass for that.

But once I decide to do something, I have to do it. And I find I'm much happier when I live for the moment and not worry about what it will cost me down the road. Everything always works out eventually, right?

I'm rationalizing; I know. I do that a lot too. But isn't impulsiveness inherent in spontaneity, or with being easy-going? Both of those are positive things in my opinion.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

I hate titling things. Even blog entries.

Jason sent me another link from the Pierogi Flat File:Tavares Strachant
If you look for more of this artist's work, you'll find this.

I'm amazed. He's already done everything I'm trying to figure out how to do. And it's beautiful. I like the rest of his work too. I might even admit to a tinge of jealousy. He's showing all over the place it seems like. I feel like I'm never going to get there.

I received a cryptic postcard in the mail today. Getting mail always cheers me up. Here's one side... if I figure out how to do those fancy roll-over images, I'll put up the other side too:

I figured out most of it, but the upside down bottom left stamp wasn't on my list. So I tried looking it up, and came across a new list:

Stamps on:
Left corner, upside down means "I love you"
Left corner, crosswise means "I love another"
Left corner, straight up and down means "Wish to be rid of your correspondence"
Bottom of right corner, crosswise means "No"
Bottom of right corner, upsided down means "Yes"
Left lower corner means "Do you love me?"
Left lower corner, upside down means "I am displeased"
Left lower corner, crosswise means "I wish to have your acquantance"
Right corner, up and down means "Business correspondence"
Left side, in the center means "Accept me as a lover"
Left side, upside down means "I am engaged"
Left side, in the center, crosswise means "Who cares?"
(Source: "Fact, Fancy and Fable" by Henry Frederic Reddall)

This one doesn't agree with the previous one. I might have to combine all the lists I can find and create one cohesive one.

I also find it odd that there is more postage on the card than necessary. I'm pretty sure postcards are only 26 cents, not 42.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

new things

I went to the BFA show opening friday, but didn't actually see any of the art. The crowd was immediately overwhelming, so I sought out friends and hid in a small group until they were ready to go elsewhere. I'll try to go back tomorrow to actually see what was there. I've heard really good things about this show and had high expectations since I know a lot of the people graduating. Most people have said it's a better show than previous years, and it has to be better than last semester's. That one was pretty bad.

Casey took me to a Buddhist meeting with him yesterday. I've been pretty much against any and all religions for as long as I can remember, but this seems very different from anything else I know. Some parts seem to follow things I already do or try to do in my life, while some parts are completely foreign to me. I want to learn more about it though and will probably ask Casey to take me to the next meeting too. Couldn't hurt to try it, right?

Quincy came over last night. I love having company, and he lives only a block away, so chances are I'll be hanging out with him more in the future. I made a quick dinner and green tea (with my new teapot from Rachel!) and we watched Lynch's Blue Velvet. Had I known more about it, I probably wouldn't have chosen to watch it with someone I hardly know... and I'm still not sure what to think about it. I'm going to have to watch at least once more before I send it back.

I'm probably going to go downtown today and play around in the lab. I've been wanting to make a new website, but I don't have CS3 at home anymore, so I can't work on much here. I'm going to buy CS4 soon though...I need to ask Mark to email me the link with the student discount through the school.

I should get moving. It's already nearly lunch time!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

BFA Show and ex-boyfriends...

It suddenly hit me on the train home today that Eric could very easily be at the BFA show tomorrow, and the thought that I could very easily run into him scared me enough I nearly started crying. I do not like how strong my negative feelings towards him still are. I do not know how I might react if I did run into him. I assume it is not by chance, but by his avoidance, that I never run into him at school. I'm pretty sure we have classes in the same buildings at the same times at least twice a week, and yet I never have seen him at the elevator or outside smoking. I suppose that's a good thing for now, but it's bound to happen eventually.

Tomorrow though...I know I can't let thoughts like that prevent me from doing things that I want to do, but I'm afraid I will be on edge the whole time, and too close to being emotional. I already have a strong distaste for large crowds; running into the only person I have genuine hatred for might set me over the edge.

If I could go to the pre-show instead I would...

Monday, March 09, 2009


I finally updated my website, added a few pictures of projects I've been working on more recently. I'm still working on a completely new, simpler site. OPP is driving me crazy.

I had to have David help me document the glass pieces. I dragged out the nice Profoto kit and didn't really have a clue where to start. I know how to set up the lights and turn them on, et cetera, but he taught me a lot more very quickly. I haven't done any sort of lighting since that pre-college class I took at MCAD. Might be something worth knowing.

The pictures will probably still go through a bit more editing...making the background completely white. I was in a rush, needed images for a scholarship application to Ox-Box this summer. I really hope I can afford to go. I want to blow glass!

My summer is going to be so busy. Hopefully I will be taking a week+ for a Big City Mountaineers trip...I'm super excited about that. And I have a couple other classes picked out in addition to Ox-Box. All with photo-cage work in between. I am debating taking the wet plate photo class. I love learning photo processes, but I don't want to take photos. It's a tricky spot to be in. So many decisions.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Au Bon Pain

I was eavesdropping on a conversation at lunch, which I suppose I always do, but this was an interesting conversation between a small group of businessmen in their multi-colored shirts and matching ties. Their conversation interested me over any of the others as they were talking about art. I listened silently while one guy impersonated an "artist" talking about conceptual art, and another said he simply can only appreciate art that is of something because that shows talent. I laughed aloud at that and they turned to look at me. I usually avoid confrontation at all costs, and felt completely embarrassed that I was caught listening in. I apologized, excused myself as an art student from the AIC, which in turn seemed to embarrass them. I certainly don't know everything about art and find quite a bit of it to be bullshit, but they were really being quite ignorant. They talked to me for a bit, and I politely, and quietly, went back to my lunch of mac-n-cheese and bread.

When they got up to leave, the younger guy came over and introduced himself as an actor by the name of Joe. He does comedy with a group called WoodSugars and invited me to see them perform at the Gorilla Tango Theater over in Wicker Park on March 28th. He told me to facebook "woodsugars," which I did unsuccessfully, but all the show information is on Gorilla Tango's website too. Tickets are only $10, so if I find someone to accompany me, I will probably check it out.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Postcard Stamps

According to the Philatelic Database, stamp placement can mean the following things:

Upside down, top left corner = I love you
Crosswise on top left corner = My heart is another’s
Centre of envelope, at top = Yes
Center of envelope, at bottom = No
Straight up and down, any position = Goodbye sweetheart
Upside down, top right corner = Write no more
At right angle, top right corner = Do you love me?
At right angle, top left corner = I hate you
Upright top right corner = I desire your friendship
Upright in line with surname = Accept my love
Upside down in line with surname = I am engaged
At right angle in line with the surname = I long to see you
Centred on right edge = Write immediately!

So pay attention to my stamp-age from now on!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


I remember begging my mom once when we were at Walmart to let me buy a cactus. She caved, and I picked out the most perfect one I could find. I had learned about deserts either in school or on some PBS show, and how they are really dry, but once a year, a monsoon comes and floods everything with water. The cacti in the desert held all of that water so everything could survive until the next monsoon! So, after about a week, I flooded the tiny plastic pot that held my dear my cactus. It did not survive.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

One more thing & I'm done for the night.

I started playing Weffriddles again and immediately got stuck on level 7. I know I've gotten past this before, but I don't remember. I have the Wiki list of all of Edith Wharton's works, but the missing one doesn't seem to fit in any way. Help me?

Oh, and

I need to start building my new website very soon. My OtherPeoplesPixels site is going to expire soon and I do not want to renew it. It's too expensive, too standardized, and a pain to organize how I want to. It will still be at tricia-cox.com, but I don't know much else from there. I've made very simple websites before from scratch, like Eric's, using Photoshop and Bridge for slideshows, and Dreamweaver for the rest, but I'm not satisfied. If you have any tips for me, please let me know!


Jason sent me a link to this image:

I followed another link from that site which took me to the original artist's website (her name is Susanna Conaway,) where I discovered she does more glass work very similar to what I was working on last semester. I haven't documented any of my work, nor have I made anything of interest lately, but here is more of hers from her site:

She also has a bunch of work that I don't care for at all, but the ones I do like seem to be so close to what I'd been thinking for months. Now I feel a bit uncreative. I know "everything has been done already," but really? That doesn't seem right.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Sunday, January 25, 2009


I'm going to start making postcards again. If I don't already have your address, please send it to me?

Happy Birthday to me.

I turn 21 today, and I'm going to spend my day simply trying my hardest not to sit around my house sulking. In addition to being unable to pay rent, buy food, get my checking account out of the negative, pay tuition, et cetera, I am now single. He came in while I was napping yesterday, told me he met someone else the day before, picked up (most) of his shit, and left. Just like that.

I'm so angry I can't sleep, so hurt I feel sick. Not three days ago we were talking about me moving in with him this summer, and moving to California together when we graduate. It's like the floor suddenly disappeared, dropping me into Jarvis's apartment below, and not with a safe landing on the couch. I dreamt of punching glass doors and slapping him, woke with clenched fists more than once. I know break-ups never get easier, but I could have never imagined they'd get harder. I've never felt this angry and sad all at once before. Well, I guess I've just never been this angry before. The last time I at least had a chance to see it coming.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

I'm worried.

I'm getting pretty used to being broke and unable to buy food or pay bills, and I've learned pretty quickly how to not let it stress me out. However, my current situation is progressively getting worse and it's beginning to finally get to me. My private loan for school was denied, and I'm applying for a second with another company, but my sister had two turned down already too. If I don't get this one, then I won't be able to afford school, let alone food and rent. I really don't want to take a semester off, and if I do, I'm afraid I won't be able to afford to come back.

One positive thing though... I told the bosses today that I might have to leave for a semester and the big boss talked to her boss, who in turn talked to his boss, who agreed they could afford to hire me as a temp if I can't get work-study by being enrolled. So either way I'll still have my job. As much as I might complain, I do love my job.