One Fish, Two Fish.

new blog

2010-05-11T01:22:00.000-05:00

I started a new blog as a project for class, but I'm going to try to actually get it going and keep it up for a bit. It's at altartchicago.blogspot.com

Check it out? If you'd like to post to it or contribute in any way, I'd love to get as much input from as many voices as possible.

Ready? Set? Go!!

2010-03-14T17:32:00.006-05:00

I have the greatest dog ever.

2009-12-01T00:46:00.001-06:00

Fighting/avoiding the roommate has persisted for an entire month now. After half a bottle of wine and half a Xanax, I gathered enough strength to tell him I'm moving out. After that went horribly (yet still better than expected) I took the dog over to Justin & Jason's, realized I shouldn't have driven even that short distance after the wine+meds+anger combo and promptly zoned out. I barely remember making it to Justin's bed to pass out and woke up in the morning to find him and his girlie sleeping on the couch together. I'm so grateful for my friends. They take care of me.

Im so ready for this drama to be over. Looking at an apartment with Amanda in the morning so I should go sleep. Oh! And I might have a "date" on Friday. Get excited!

Kentucky weekend

2009-10-11T19:20:00.003-05:00

It's so much warmer there. I can't believe it's supposed to snow tomorrow.

Spent the weekend with my favorite sisters...Ju and I made pumpkin pie and carved jack-o-lanterns. We all three went to get matching - sorry, coordinating- tattoos. Ju hasn't gotten hers yet since she wasn't sure where to put it, but Rach and I got ours on our wrists.

I slept most of the car ride home, and ended up sleeping on my fresh tattoo quite a bit. It hurts now.

I also spent too much time on petfinder.com and found this guy...

I haven't met him yet, but I really want to. I can't stop thinking about getting another dog.

another missed connection :)

2009-10-03T23:41:00.002-05:00

The blue line's all jenked still so I've been biking even more and carrying my bike around with me everywhere, even when I do take the train.

Tonight I got on to come home and, since the train car was barely half full, sat down with my bike up against me, completely out of the way of anyone. A guy (drunk I assume) comes crossing cars and manages to bump into the front of my bike, and then proceeds to follow that bump with a harsh kick to the back tire. I figure he's an ass and ignore him as usual. The guy across from me though seems to be much more offended and possibly even a bit pissed off. He gestures to me something that indicates the bum is doing something perverse involving his pants. The bum had quite intentionally placed his rear end up against the glass beside my head, so I continue to ignore him and turn both myself and my bike away.

Point of the story is, in the meantime, the guy sitting across from me had put down his book, moved a seat closer, and kept a very close eye on the drunk/bum guy. And while I'm all for the strong-independent-woman-taking-care-of-herself-thing, I am still also totally for having complete strangers care. It really did mean a lot to me, knowing someone was watching out for my safety.

Thank you friend.

update? or just a bit of stream-of-consciousness babble

2009-10-01T21:53:00.005-05:00

I keep wanting to write something, but I don't actually have much to say. Occasionally, I come across something and think "I should post that!" but I never do and it apparently is never interesting enough for me to remember later to follow through.

I just heard two gunshots. I don't really like this neighborhood.

And I really don't like how far from the train I am. I'm coming down with a cold of some sort and having not considered the chance of rain when I woke this morning, did not dress appropriately for the downpour I had to bike through in the dark to get home. I had to keep my head down to keep the rain out of my eyes, and watching the wet ground pass my tires made me feel motion sick. I can only imagine the complaints I'll have when there's a foot of snow and ice on the ground come February.

I met up with Brian the other day, not the roommate but the pirate. We had lunch and I took an extra hour getting back to class since I hadn't seen him in awhile. He mentioned something about trying to learn how to be a medium, and I of course had to ask if mediums could talk to dogs. He didn't say yes, but instead basically told me that I should start paying attention to the energies around me, and that chances are he's usually close by. He said dogs stick around for a long time. I'm certainly not a wiccan, nor am I sure I believe in ghosts of any sort, but I like the idea and I hope he's close by. And now I'm crying again. It's been a little over two months and I still break down in random public places whenever I think about it.

On a happier, pet-related note, Hazel kitty is mine for good. Her former owner finally sent me a message on facebook that said I could keep her. I had already decided awhile ago that she was mine, but getting the confirmation was exciting. I love this cat. I overslept by two hours this morning so I could kitty-cuddle. It was nice.

Oh, and I'm currently (and passively) looking for a home for Gali girl, the great dane. I think Lara might take her, but we haven't talked about it lately. If anyone knows anyone that might want a dane, please send them my way. She's a great dog, just too much for me right now.

She's still pretty skinny, and neighbors have been calling animal control on me. They've come by twice now, and both times said there wasn't a problem, but the neighbors are persistent. Twice someone has left food and water inside the front gate. If they paid any attention, they'd see her consistently filled food and water bowls by the back door. I'm also annoyed that they don't simply call me first and ask about her. My phone number is on her tag, and I've had plenty on other neighbors ask about her when I'm outside.

Whatever. I'm going to go pass out and try really hard not to be sick.

Pet pictures follow just for fun.

(Bang!)

2009-09-01T08:03:00.002-05:00

I stayed at Helene's last night in Uptown. 4:45am I'm wide awake and I hear a drive-by shooting. Seven to eight loud pops, breaking glass, tires squealing away on a suped-up ricer. I freaked out a little bit, wondered if I should call the police or if it was all in my head. Twenty minutes later I got up the courage to peer out the window across the porch and saw a fire truck pulling up to an ambulance and a variety of police cars. Cops were walking through the yard across the street and waving the fire truck on as there was no fire. They all were gone within a few minutes.

After debating whether to run and hide in Helene's bed with her, I went back to the couch and eventually fell back asleep. I had a few crazy dreams, but in the one I remember most clearly, Rachel and Dad were with me in my car, trying to park in a parking garage. I finally found a spot, but as I pulled in a huge bulldozer/garbage truck/monster truck pulled in behind me and smashed my car into a brick wall. We got out fine, but both ends crumpled like and empty soda can. I woke up, freaked out again thinking my car no longer existed, and then thinking I had to move it (I parked at a meter spot last night,) but it was only seven, so I fell back asleep for an hour.

Finally went to move my car and there was a man and a woman standing by it. The man pointed to the taxi parked in front of me. I noticed it's horrible parking job (not surprising for a taxi,) an then noticed it's rear bumper smashed into my front bumper. Besides my license plate falling off just a little more than before, my car was fine; his was not. His front end was totaled, windows broken, side smashed in too. While i was trying to work out in my head how you total a car and parallel park it into my car, the woman said that the taxi also pushed me into the red car that had been parked behind me. Sure enough I walk to my back bumper and there's red paint and a few deep scratches. Still perfectly drivable, but very odd.

Drive by and car accident in one night?

2009-08-04T19:43:00.001-05:00

I just kinda got hit on, but with no pick up lines. I'm a bit disappointed. Very handsome blue eyed Brit named Simon. He passed me in the train station and stopped to tell me he liked my hair (coincidence?), asked what neighborhood I lived in in Chicago, where I was headed, my name, said I was beautiful and then left. Really? He really should've asked for my number.

L Conversation

2009-05-04T21:43:00.002-05:00

-So what are you studying?
-I got to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago...
-What?
-I study art, like photography and painting and stuff like that.
-Are there any jobs doing that?
-Not really, we'll see.
-So why are you studying that? Seems like a waste.
-Well, because I enjoy it.
(akward pause)
-I'm pretty used to being broke; I'm not too worried about it.
-Can't be broke forever though. You gotta enjoy life.
-Well, that's why I'm studying art.
(more silence)
-I know, it doesn't make much sense. This is my stop...
-Good luck

Impulsivity

2009-03-28T10:57:00.002-05:00

Is being impulsive really such a bad thing? I can act rather impulsively, like when I ran out and bought a mini-fridge the second my first one died, despite the fact that I never actually needed the first one. Or like two days ago, when I withdrew nearly all of my savings to buy a car. I waited nearly three days between deciding I wanted the car and actually buying it, but three days is really not very long for such a large purchase. I think Rachel still wants to kick my ass for that.

But once I decide to do something, I have to do it. And I find I'm much happier when I live for the moment and not worry about what it will cost me down the road. Everything always works out eventually, right?

I'm rationalizing; I know. I do that a lot too. But isn't impulsiveness inherent in spontaneity, or with being easy-going? Both of those are positive things in my opinion.

I hate titling things. Even blog entries.

2009-03-25T21:53:00.006-05:00

Jason sent me another link from the Pierogi Flat File:Tavares Strachant
If you look for more of this artist's work, you'll find this.

I'm amazed. He's already done everything I'm trying to figure out how to do. And it's beautiful. I like the rest of his work too. I might even admit to a tinge of jealousy. He's showing all over the place it seems like. I feel like I'm never going to get there.

I received a cryptic postcard in the mail today. Getting mail always cheers me up. Here's one side... if I figure out how to do those fancy roll-over images, I'll put up the other side too:

I figured out most of it, but the upside down bottom left stamp wasn't on my list. So I tried looking it up, and came across a new list:

Stamps on:
Left corner, upside down means "I love you"
Left corner, crosswise means "I love another"
Left corner, straight up and down means "Wish to be rid of your correspondence"
Bottom of right corner, crosswise means "No"
Bottom of right corner, upsided down means "Yes"
Left lower corner means "Do you love me?"
Left lower corner, upside down means "I am displeased"
Left lower corner, crosswise means "I wish to have your acquantance"
Right corner, up and down means "Business correspondence"
Left side, in the center means "Accept me as a lover"
Left side, upside down means "I am engaged"
Left side, in the center, crosswise means "Who cares?"
(Source: "Fact, Fancy and Fable" by Henry Frederic Reddall)

This one doesn't agree with the previous one. I might have to combine all the lists I can find and create one cohesive one.

I also find it odd that there is more postage on the card than necessary. I'm pretty sure postcards are only 26 cents, not 42.

new things

2009-03-22T10:51:00.002-05:00

I went to the BFA show opening friday, but didn't actually see any of the art. The crowd was immediately overwhelming, so I sought out friends and hid in a small group until they were ready to go elsewhere. I'll try to go back tomorrow to actually see what was there. I've heard really good things about this show and had high expectations since I know a lot of the people graduating. Most people have said it's a better show than previous years, and it has to be better than last semester's. That one was pretty bad.

Casey took me to a Buddhist meeting with him yesterday. I've been pretty much against any and all religions for as long as I can remember, but this seems very different from anything else I know. Some parts seem to follow things I already do or try to do in my life, while some parts are completely foreign to me. I want to learn more about it though and will probably ask Casey to take me to the next meeting too. Couldn't hurt to try it, right?

Quincy came over last night. I love having company, and he lives only a block away, so chances are I'll be hanging out with him more in the future. I made a quick dinner and green tea (with my new teapot from Rachel!) and we watched Lynch's Blue Velvet. Had I known more about it, I probably wouldn't have chosen to watch it with someone I hardly know... and I'm still not sure what to think about it. I'm going to have to watch at least once more before I send it back.

I'm probably going to go downtown today and play around in the lab. I've been wanting to make a new website, but I don't have CS3 at home anymore, so I can't work on much here. I'm going to buy CS4 soon though...I need to ask Mark to email me the link with the student discount through the school.

I should get moving. It's already nearly lunch time!

BFA Show and ex-boyfriends...

2009-03-19T16:50:00.002-05:00

It suddenly hit me on the train home today that Eric could very easily be at the BFA show tomorrow, and the thought that I could very easily run into him scared me enough I nearly started crying. I do not like how strong my negative feelings towards him still are. I do not know how I might react if I did run into him. I assume it is not by chance, but by his avoidance, that I never run into him at school. I'm pretty sure we have classes in the same buildings at the same times at least twice a week, and yet I never have seen him at the elevator or outside smoking. I suppose that's a good thing for now, but it's bound to happen eventually.

Tomorrow though...I know I can't let thoughts like that prevent me from doing things that I want to do, but I'm afraid I will be on edge the whole time, and too close to being emotional. I already have a strong distaste for large crowds; running into the only person I have genuine hatred for might set me over the edge.

If I could go to the pre-show instead I would...

Website

2009-03-09T22:00:00.002-05:00

I finally updated my website, added a few pictures of projects I've been working on more recently. I'm still working on a completely new, simpler site. OPP is driving me crazy.

I had to have David help me document the glass pieces. I dragged out the nice Profoto kit and didn't really have a clue where to start. I know how to set up the lights and turn them on, et cetera, but he taught me a lot more very quickly. I haven't done any sort of lighting since that pre-college class I took at MCAD. Might be something worth knowing.

The pictures will probably still go through a bit more editing...making the background completely white. I was in a rush, needed images for a scholarship application to Ox-Box this summer. I really hope I can afford to go. I want to blow glass!

My summer is going to be so busy. Hopefully I will be taking a week+ for a Big City Mountaineers trip...I'm super excited about that. And I have a couple other classes picked out in addition to Ox-Box. All with photo-cage work in between. I am debating taking the wet plate photo class. I love learning photo processes, but I don't want to take photos. It's a tricky spot to be in. So many decisions.

Au Bon Pain

2009-03-05T17:34:00.003-06:00

I was eavesdropping on a conversation at lunch, which I suppose I always do, but this was an interesting conversation between a small group of businessmen in their multi-colored shirts and matching ties. Their conversation interested me over any of the others as they were talking about art. I listened silently while one guy impersonated an "artist" talking about conceptual art, and another said he simply can only appreciate art that is of something because that shows talent. I laughed aloud at that and they turned to look at me. I usually avoid confrontation at all costs, and felt completely embarrassed that I was caught listening in. I apologized, excused myself as an art student from the AIC, which in turn seemed to embarrass them. I certainly don't know everything about art and find quite a bit of it to be bullshit, but they were really being quite ignorant. They talked to me for a bit, and I politely, and quietly, went back to my lunch of mac-n-cheese and bread.

When they got up to leave, the younger guy came over and introduced himself as an actor by the name of Joe. He does comedy with a group called WoodSugars and invited me to see them perform at the Gorilla Tango Theater over in Wicker Park on March 28th. He told me to facebook "woodsugars," which I did unsuccessfully, but all the show information is on Gorilla Tango's website too. Tickets are only $10, so if I find someone to accompany me, I will probably check it out.

Postcard Stamps

2009-02-15T21:27:00.005-06:00

According to the Philatelic Database, stamp placement can mean the following things:

Upside down, top left corner = I love you
Crosswise on top left corner = My heart is another’s
Centre of envelope, at top = Yes
Center of envelope, at bottom = No
Straight up and down, any position = Goodbye sweetheart
Upside down, top right corner = Write no more
At right angle, top right corner = Do you love me?
At right angle, top left corner = I hate you
Upright top right corner = I desire your friendship
Upright in line with surname = Accept my love
Upside down in line with surname = I am engaged
At right angle in line with the surname = I long to see you
Centred on right edge = Write immediately!

So pay attention to my stamp-age from now on!

Cacti.

2009-02-11T22:39:00.002-06:00

I remember begging my mom once when we were at Walmart to let me buy a cactus. She caved, and I picked out the most perfect one I could find. I had learned about deserts either in school or on some PBS show, and how they are really dry, but once a year, a monsoon comes and floods everything with water. The cacti in the desert held all of that water so everything could survive until the next monsoon! So, after about a week, I flooded the tiny plastic pot that held my dear my cactus. It did not survive.

One more thing & I'm done for the night.

2009-02-03T21:07:00.002-06:00

I started playing Weffriddles again and immediately got stuck on level 7. I know I've gotten past this before, but I don't remember. I have the Wiki list of all of Edith Wharton's works, but the missing one doesn't seem to fit in any way. Help me?

Oh, and

2009-02-03T20:52:00.002-06:00

I need to start building my new website very soon. My OtherPeoplesPixels site is going to expire soon and I do not want to renew it. It's too expensive, too standardized, and a pain to organize how I want to. It will still be at tricia-cox.com, but I don't know much else from there. I've made very simple websites before from scratch, like Eric's, using Photoshop and Bridge for slideshows, and Dreamweaver for the rest, but I'm not satisfied. If you have any tips for me, please let me know!

Research

2009-02-03T20:31:00.006-06:00

Jason sent me a link to this image:

I followed another link from that site which took me to the original artist's website (her name is Susanna Conaway,) where I discovered she does more glass work very similar to what I was working on last semester. I haven't documented any of my work, nor have I made anything of interest lately, but here is more of hers from her site:

She also has a bunch of work that I don't care for at all, but the ones I do like seem to be so close to what I'd been thinking for months. Now I feel a bit uncreative. I know "everything has been done already," but really? That doesn't seem right.

I don't know what to do with myself.

2009-01-26T13:15:00.001-06:00

I want my car back.

Addresses

2009-01-25T11:54:00.002-06:00

I'm going to start making postcards again. If I don't already have your address, please send it to me?

Happy Birthday to me.

2009-01-25T06:17:00.002-06:00

I turn 21 today, and I'm going to spend my day simply trying my hardest not to sit around my house sulking. In addition to being unable to pay rent, buy food, get my checking account out of the negative, pay tuition, et cetera, I am now single. He came in while I was napping yesterday, told me he met someone else the day before, picked up (most) of his shit, and left. Just like that.

I'm so angry I can't sleep, so hurt I feel sick. Not three days ago we were talking about me moving in with him this summer, and moving to California together when we graduate. It's like the floor suddenly disappeared, dropping me into Jarvis's apartment below, and not with a safe landing on the couch. I dreamt of punching glass doors and slapping him, woke with clenched fists more than once. I know break-ups never get easier, but I could have never imagined they'd get harder. I've never felt this angry and sad all at once before. Well, I guess I've just never been this angry before. The last time I at least had a chance to see it coming.

I'm worried.

2009-01-21T17:37:00.002-06:00

I'm getting pretty used to being broke and unable to buy food or pay bills, and I've learned pretty quickly how to not let it stress me out. However, my current situation is progressively getting worse and it's beginning to finally get to me. My private loan for school was denied, and I'm applying for a second with another company, but my sister had two turned down already too. If I don't get this one, then I won't be able to afford school, let alone food and rent. I really don't want to take a semester off, and if I do, I'm afraid I won't be able to afford to come back.

One positive thing though... I told the bosses today that I might have to leave for a semester and the big boss talked to her boss, who in turn talked to his boss, who agreed they could afford to hire me as a temp if I can't get work-study by being enrolled. So either way I'll still have my job. As much as I might complain, I do love my job.

From cave painting to pills.

2008-11-13T22:32:00.005-06:00

My Psych teacher seems convinced that the only direction art can go in the future is into the form of a pill or brain cap. The purpose of art now is to stimulate, question, or evoke some kind of a reaction. In most cases, it's about the experience, not the literal piece.

So, logically, with time, the actual pieces won't need to exist at all, only the experience. Artists will become chemists and scientists. They will find the exact way to evoke the reaction and experience they want for their viewers through a pill or contraption that stimulates the exact spots in the brain that give that specific response.

That scares me a little bit. Even if I don't believe it.

I'm not liking apartment buildings.

2008-11-02T01:45:00.002-05:00

It's 2 am and I've been kept awake for two reasons. 1- I can't find my tylenol pm. and 2- a neighbor has rudely been playing his stereo for the past three hours. I can only hear it in my bedroom, and it sounds like it comes through the ceiling. There's almost always music playing from this guy, but 2 am is a bit much. I know it's a saturday night, but still. I usually work on Sundays, and if I were working tomorrow I'd be even more pissed off.

Anyway...about half an hour ago I got fed up and went upstairs to 3B to ask him to turn the music down. I've never actually met the guy in 3B, but he didn't answer anyway. Weird part, it looked like all his lights were off and I couldn't hear the music in the hall, only in my bedroom. Either way, I knocked, no answer. Knocked louder, no answer. I took a broom to my ceiling, dented the ceiling, but got no response and the music remained loud. I went outside and rang the obnoxious buzzer/door bell to 3B. Three times, no response. I was headed back upstairs to try to look for my tylenol pm again when I noticed noise in the hall...music coming from 1B, below me. I knocked on their door, and the volume went down.

Crazy old buildings have crazy acoustics. I hope to god 3B wasn't home. I'm sorry.

Ugh.

2008-10-14T19:29:00.003-05:00

I'm hungry, but I have to walk over to the grocery to get food before I can cook, and then finally eat. And I'm not hungry enough to go through all that yet.

I need to pay bills tonight and find out how much I can put towards a parking space. The empty spaces in the alley behind the building are $110! And that's per month, not quarter or semester. The locked, secured lot up the street is $125, and a guy a couple buildings over said the garage there is $80, but I bet (if that is even accurate,) that it's just for residents, and it would be more like 100+ for me. I'm a bit sad. Finding a place to park is so stressful that I have pretty much stopped driving. With the exception of my stained glass class and trips out of the city, I really don't drive anywhere at all.

I had thought about things I wanted to write in my blog, but now I can't remember any of them.

Suki Suks [sic]

2008-10-04T23:28:00.002-05:00

Bo is a neighbor I just met tonight. Lives one floor up with the yappy dog.

Me: Are you waiting for a ride?
Bo: No, I'm trying to sell my car. I'm waiting for someone to come back with a check.
Me: Which car are you selling?
Bo: I just bought that one (points) so I'm getting rid of a Tracker.
Me: Oh! I've seen the Tracker. I've got a Sidekick.
Bo: The grey one?
Me: Yeah.
Bo: So you're the crooked one that doesn't know how to park.

Bo says his dog is "an indoor dog" and that he doesn't take him outside very often. How sad! and ridiculous. Why own a dog then? That's what cats are for.

Yesterday

2008-10-02T14:51:00.002-05:00

I was walking to class after work with Julia and we passed a taxi driver struggling to change a flat tire. I wondered aloud if I should see if he needed help, briefly acknowledged the fact that no one in this city would stop to help me (unless my boobs were falling out of my shirt or something,) and then continued with our previous conversation. Julia instead asked, "well, are you going to ask him?" So I did. He was trying to loosen the last nut on the flat before raising the car up. He already had the jack in the right place and the spare out and ready, but couldn't turn that last lug nut. When I asked if he needed help, he replied "You think you're stronger than me?" Which sounds a bit testy now that I think about it, but I replied honestly, "No, but maybe we could both get it." He had one of those cross bar things with different sized sockets at each end. He pushed down his end and I pulled up on the other, and it loosened up immediately. I don't know if he had doubted me or something, but as soon as it loosened he gave me a hug and asked where I was headed. I was only a block away from class and being that it would take him another 10 minutes to get the spare on, I told him not to worry about it.

That night after class when i was walking to the bus stop, I passed a guy crawling on the sidewalk on all fours, looking around at everyone. He didn't look like a bum, but he could have been I suppose. Either way, right before i passed him, he flopped down on the ground and stopped moving, like he was playing dead. I paid him no attention, but looked over my shoulder a few times to see if anyone else did. I'm sure everyone around me had seen the same thing and knew he wasn't actually sick or injured, but even those that may not have known didn't stop to help. I doubt anyone did. Isn't that disappointing?

It's not getting better,

2008-09-08T21:22:00.002-05:00

but on the upside, it's not getting worse either. I miss my boyfriend and want hugs right now. He called, talked with a bad connection for a few minutes, and I cried the second I hung up. Then I got mad at myself for crying, for I have a million other things i should be doing instead. So I took a hot bath, drank some orange soda, and told myself I'd do my homework, but instead, am on my blog and on facebook. I guess I'll be up late tonight.

Still stressed out about money, and now worried about not having enough time to do my work, in addition to not having enough money for it. I have expensive interests.

I might be picking up a fourth shift at work. Tonight Adam offered me Mondays, said he hasn't found anyone else who can do it. I'd be working with Julia, and I do love Julia. And I do need the money. But that's another 7.5 hours, not counting the lunch break. I'm already at 20 a week. Can I handle that...nearly 28 hours a week plus 15 credits in school? I want it. I'll see I guess. My stained glass class would interfere for a few weeks, but I bet he'd let me work around that and leave a couple hours early.

I have to bitch about the cta, and then I need to finish my homework. I got on the red line earlier this evening and noticed the girl across from me making odd faces. The train was eerily quiet, and the lights had flickered off and back on, but that happens all the time. I caught her glance, and she took out her earphones to inform me that the train had been acting weird, making bad noises. Sure enough, within seconds, this strange grinding sound came from under us and the lights went completely out (with the exception of the emergency lights.) After a few minutes of sitting patiently with the doors closed, not moving, the conductor informed the passengers that the "power had been removed, uh lost" and that it should only be a few minutes before we're moving again. By the time most people had become frustrated and left, he announced that all northbound redline trains would be rerouted to the elevated tracks. So an entire train of people, half not hearing the message and asking everyone else what's going on, had to get off a walk the couple blocks to the el station and wait for a redline train to get us up there. When one came, it was packed with twice the number of passengers as usual. I grabbed a seat, finished my book within a few stops, found out my iPod wasn't charged, and then, about five stops from home, got kicked off to wait for yet another train because the one I was on decided to run express, right past my stop. I was pretty irritable by the time I got home, over an hour and a half after leaving work.

Give a Dog a Bone

2008-08-27T21:11:00.003-05:00

I gave my dog a bone a couple weeks ago, one of those knotted rawhide things that stinks of "bacon flavor." He gnawed and gnawed and managed to finish part of it the other day, but the other half he's being really lazy about. Right now, he's laying across his bed, feet tucked it all cozy like, with his head stretched out in front of him, bone at the tip of his nose. Every time he licks it, it gets pushed away a little bit, and he just tries to stretch his neck further to reach it again each time. He's so cute. and lazy. Aw, and now he caught me watching him and got up.

No no no

2008-08-25T22:44:00.002-05:00

I keep thinking about kids lately, and babies. I really don't want any, but they keep popping up in my thoughts anyway. Is that normal? Is it some natural, procreative, built-in thing in my brain that is forcing these ideas into my head without permission?

At Target the other day I found myself looking at the adorable baby things and decorating a nursery in my head (it would be yellow by the way, with giraffes.) Then at REI's website, I found myself looking at the strollers page. Then today, while in the shower, I had his crazy train of thought that somehow led me to wondering how I would teach my daughter how to shave if I myself decided to stop shaving from now on. Daughter? What daughter?! That's not cool. I Don't Want Kids! Please keep them out of my head. wtf.

Smoothie?

2008-08-03T09:52:00.006-05:00

I've been having breakfast problems for the past few days. I'd been eating an egg or two with cheese, on toast for the past two-three weeks and suddenly got sick of it. But Nicole keeps telling me I need more protein, and what other easy breakfast foods are there besides eggs with protein? I don't suppose bacon can really substitute with its high fat content. So this morning I decided on a smoothie, with some of that protein powder that I've been sending to Eric. It's strawberry flavored, so I figured it should go well with the frozen strawberries and blueberries in my freezer.

I got everything I needed, and moved the blender into the living room so the noise wouldn't wake up Shane. Added some mango juice to the fruit and then three scoops of the powder. The container says 3 scoops for a 12 oz drink, and my smoothies tend to be more than 12 oz, but I wasn't sure how it would take so I didn't put it more than that. I mixed it all up. The blender seemed to have some problems mixing it thoroughly and I realized I probably should have added the powder after the fruit had been mixed. Oh well, it got the job done eventually.

I very carefully took everything back into the kitchen, trying to keep as quiet as possible with Shane's open door right there. Then I suddenly drop the smaller piece to the lid to the blender, it noisily bangs across the kitchen tiles three- four times before I get to it. Then I grab a glass and quietly try to pour my smoothie. This time, the entire lid falls off with a crash, spilling over half of the contents onto the stove. So much for being quiet. Luckily there was still enough in my glass that all of this effort had not been in vain. I clean up the mess and finally get to the smoothie that I've worked so hard for.

And it's disgusting. The "strawberry" powder taste is overwhelming and awful. I can't even taste the pounds of fruit that went into the mix. I am extremely disappointed and will never try this again. So I'm back to needing good breakfast ideas.

Huh.

2008-07-22T19:08:00.001-05:00

I get so bored at work that I search online for things to do, and then end up spending money ordering something. Kinda defeats the purpose of going to work, doesn't it? I need to stop.

Food!

2008-07-13T20:42:00.001-05:00

I have both dehydrators on. One with six trays of jerky, the other with a tray of bananas and one of strawberry puree (hopefully to turn into fruit leather.) mmm yum.

To-Do.

2008-07-11T17:00:00.003-05:00

I'm not doing a vary good job of keeping my food log. I haven't written down the pancake I had for breakfast, the soda or salad I had for lunch, or the chicken and rice I just ate.

I'm going to go to Blick to get a scrapbook photo album thing to make, and then to Kohl's to get a new bra. I made a sun dress today, but it's a halter with a low back and I don't have a bra that I could wear with it. I don't know if they make bras like that. I should stop by the grocery while I'm out too.

Tomorrow I need to move Shane's car out of the garage so I can pull mine in. I need to replace the horn, change the oil, and put in the new door handle. It would be nice to have the garage and not have to work under the train.

I'm amazed.

2008-07-06T17:54:00.002-05:00

It's six o'clock. In the evening. And I haven't done anything today, except sit in front of the computer. I haven't even gotten dressed today.

Two weeks is kind of a long time.

2008-07-06T12:27:00.001-05:00

The roommates are out of town. It's kinda lonely. But I do enjoy getting to run around the house naked with the stereo up. No tv for two weeks!

Dreams

2008-07-02T12:29:00.002-05:00

I had another dream about my doggy dying last night. I took him to the vet to get his lumps and bumps checked out. They put him under anesthesia and moments later came back to tell me he had a bad reaction to it because he's getting old and died. I tried explaining to them that I didn't want to get a puppy since I wouldn't have time to take care of it. I cried so hard in my dream I woke up crying. Cody-dog was sleeping against my legs as usual, very much still alive.

Later, after I'd fallen back asleep, Andrea, Brittany, and I were at a sports game of some sort, I think it was soccer. One of the players from a really famous team came bouncing up to us all crazy and excited. We didn't know his name, but knew he was famous, so we got out a stuffed animal that was the mascot of the team as well as a disposable camera. Andrea put her arm around the guy and I pushed a button on the animal's head that made it snap a picture and make a funny animal noise. Then the guy came bouncing over to me and Brittany took the animal/camera, but he bounced off again before she got the picture. Later, I had this wonderful idea to invite Andie and Brittany over to decorate cupcakes that had already been baked. I asked Brittany, but she said she didn't eat cupcakes, didn't I know that? "Well you could still have fun decorating them, couldn't you?" I replied. But no. I was disappointed and left.

Suki has issues.

2008-06-24T19:14:00.002-05:00

Everything to be fixed, from important to trivial:

* oil burning at start- replace main gasket or all seals and gaskets
* gas gauge does not work- replace rusted wiring and leader
* speedometer does not work- replace plastic gears and remove dash to replace needle
* horn dies- replace
* A/C is cold, but squeals- check belt and air compressor
* driver door handle only partially works- reinsert spring
* battery is loose- ties downs needed
* front grill emblem missing- replace

Roadtrippin'

2008-06-20T21:18:00.004-05:00

That's one of the crazy skies I saw today, though the most amazing one I didn't get to photograph. It was like an HD postcard or something.

I'm at a Super 8 in Utica, NY for the night. I miss Err already and I'm sick of driving.

I'm at least glad that my hands aren't fat yet.

2008-05-09T17:55:00.002-05:00

I had crazy dreams last night. I went to bed super early, around 9, woke up at 5, and then forced myself back to sleep until almost 10.

At one point I was driving down a narrow road at night and as I went through an even darker tunnel a man crossed the street in front of me. My horn still didn't work, and I barely missed hitting him when I suddenly saw a woman that had been walking with him. I jerked the car to the right toward the empty on-coming lane, but still hit her with the back left side of the car. Someone came to help, a police officer or something, but I couldn't do anything except cry and scream that I'd killed someone.

Later in the morning, I was with Eric and Cody in the car. We'd driven up to Maine to start the hike and I suddenly realized that I had brought Cody when dogs weren't allowed on the trail. I started freaking out and Eric found a vet for me to take Cody. He said it was a Banfield, so he'd be fine. When I got there there was one woman in the dark, empty office. She said they would take care of him. I was already upset about having to leave my dog somewhere strange for over two weeks, when she locks him in an empty room with no food or toys or anything. I start sobbing uncontrollably. I woke up wwith Cody sleeping besdie me, curled up against my back.

Photo!

2008-05-06T23:14:00.004-05:00

I sat in the sculpture garden by the AI a couple times yesterday. Both time I saw multiple people walk through and stop to take a photo of the tulips. It was always the same batch of tulips; not the ones across the sidewalk or to the left, but the same tulips. Eventually I decided to take a photo too. I didn't have my camera, so I used my phone.

Different topic... When I stepped off the bus earlier this evening, there was an old man sitting on the bench at the bus stop. He had tufts of white hair around the top of his head, but I couldn't see his face as he was staring at the sidewalk. He looked as I remember my great grandpa looking. Beside him was one of those huge glass jugs of cheap wine that I've seen at the grocery for around ten bucks. It was half empty. It was beautiful in this weird, distant way.

I really wanted my camera, but didn't feel right going inside to get and it coming back out.

MintyCam Pics

2008-04-23T14:46:00.003-05:00

Stupid Bus.

2008-04-21T20:07:00.003-05:00

The past three times I've taken the bus I've gotten mildly car sick- headache, nauseous, not too bad, but obnoxious. Maybe it's because I usually read on the bus? Or because I eat right before? I don't know. whatever. I'm taking the train tomorrow. Unless it's raining.

When I was getting off the bus, a guy sitting by the exit tapped me on the arm and told me that I should smile. He'd been flipping a quarter over his knuckles the whole ride. hm.

Blog Blog Blob

2008-04-19T17:46:00.004-05:00

I keep a public blog online where anyone can access it, and even have an indirect link to it on my Facebook, and yet I'm always surprised and occasionally confused when I find out someone does read it. I never know what to think. Weird.

So, something I found on Facebook today, an artist, Guillermo Vargas "Habacuc," in Costa Rica tied a stray dog up to the wall of an art gallery and let it starve to death. He wrote, "I knew the dog died on the following day from lack of food. During the inauguration, I knew that the dog was persecuted in the evening between the houses of aluminum and cardboard in a district of Managua. 5 children who helped to capture the dog received 10 bonds of córdobas for their assistance. The name of the dog was Natividad, and I let him die of hunger in the sight of everyone, as if the death of a poor dog was a shameless media show in which nobody does anything but to applaud or to watch disturbed. In the place that the dog was exposed remain a metal cable and a cord. The dog was extremely ill and did not want to eat, so in natural surroundings it would have died anyway; thus they are all poor stray dogs: sooner or later they die or are killed."

Most of the links from Facebook say that the dog died of starvation shortly after the show. Another article though says that the dog was fed when the gallery was closed and that he escaped. I don't really believe the latter, but I don't know what to think either way. I don't understand how this is "art" though.

Pushy pushy pushy.

2008-04-02T19:36:00.000-05:00

I bought a new sketchbook today. It is my new RWB.

Pinhole.

2008-03-26T15:42:00.001-05:00

I'm gonna make one of these:

I bought the Altoids today. Now I have to find someone to eat all of them.

Natal Chart

2008-03-23T18:53:00.004-05:00

Sarah emailed me my Natal Chart that takes my birthday/time with the sun/moon/planets et cetera to describe my personality. Most of it is dead-on, so I thought i share a few parts.

"More than anything, Lunar Sagittarians have a need for personal freedom and space. They are extraordinarily happy and easygoing folk, as long as they don't feel caged in or cooped up. Lunar Sagittarians have a simultaneous need for activity. Meeting new people, going out in the world, and travel are all important to their sense of well-being. They love open spaces, and, in their homes, a roomy and bright environment. . . They easily forget appointments and the like, and some are even considered irresponsible. . . Many people with this position are outdoorsy types. At the very least, they have a great love for friendly competition. When the going gets tough, these people run away. They don't like to be caught up in routine for too long, and they simply need to escape. There's a blind faith in Lunar Sagittarians that is admirable. They simply believe that everything will work out. Not much for making detailed plans, they prefer to wing it. They're very adaptable and generally on the go."

"Deep down, she believes in the basic goodness of people and of life in general, and this basic and natural attitude helps her to attract positive circumstances and to make good connections. One of her best qualities is tolerance. Usually, she doesn't take life too seriously in the sense that she believes in having a bit of fun. her hunches are more often than not bang-on."

"Her mind compartmentalizes impressions, and she appreciates structure and order. The mind learns best when it can see practical uses for information. Resourceful, reflective, deep thinker: a fine and vivacious mind. Undertakes lengthy studies or, if circumstances do not allow, will teach herself. A rational person. Can be pessimistic, skeptical, and sarcastic, possessing a very sharp sense of humor. Notices everything."

"They are conservative and willing to commit. Venus in Capricorn people are attracted to serious, goal-oriented lovers. They are a little shy in matters of the heart, but they don't want you to know it. "

"She is generous, altruistic, devoted, warm-hearted, lovable and sweet-tempered. She is drawn towards the Arts, music, song. She likes gatherings, parties. She has big emotional highs. Peaceful life in love... Her professional life is unstable. She has a taste for the Arts, is a dreamer, is easily influenced and romantic. She is emotional and very sensitive."

"She undertakes daring and dangerous enterprises. She has lots of initiative. She works hard for her money, of which she earns a lot. She is a spendthrift, money comes and goes. She is always ready to start from scratch in the event of a setback. Great willingness and enthusiasm."

"She is intuitive, sensitive. Not a fighter and is indecisive. May have some identity problems until she decides on a more spiritual or artistic path."

First day back to class!

2008-01-24T21:55:00.000-06:00

And first day back on my period! bleh.

I had my iPod walking home and for some reason was listening to all of the songs that make me a little bit sad. Sad in a good way, but sad none-the-less. A couple blocks from my house I crossed to street and saw a guy helping up an old lady who had apparently slipped on the snow and fallen by the curb. She'd hurt her knee, and I could see she was starting to cry. I kept walking, but within a few steps I had tears in my eyes.

I want to go camping.

2008-01-06T21:54:00.000-06:00

And am thus slightly regretting volunteering to work everyday this week. oops.

At work.

2007-12-18T09:50:00.000-06:00

There is absolutely nothing going on today. Most people have gone home for the winter, so the office is pretty dead. I've got Tool turned up to keep me awake, but really I want to go home to my nice warm bed and take a nap with my doggy. I was up til two last night purging my insides into the toilet. Yesterday, I had made the brilliant decision to clean out the fridge by eating any leftovers that had been in there awhile. I didn't eat anything that was moldy or smelled funny, but apparently something was bad. Oops. Then i had to get up at six to get ready for work. What fun.

Ooo, mail's here. something to do...

Sex!

2007-12-10T23:24:00.000-06:00

The ten o'clock news said they had recent studies giving six reasons why sex is healthy. They only gave three. I was a bit disappointed. But the three they gave were interesting.

1. Sex once a week is shown to boost the immune system and help prevent colds. It's not helping my immune system so far though. Maybe I should try harder...

2. Sex four times a week is shown to make women look 7 - 12 years younger. I don't think I need that; I look young enough for now. I don't need to look like I'm twelve.

3. Sex burns four calories per minute. Woot!

Snow!

2007-12-10T22:54:00.000-06:00

On the way home from class I felt the need to step in or kick every pile of snow I passed on the sidewalk. Good thing my boots are waterproof, no? There was one particularly large pile I could see down the sidewalk near the Art Institute back entrance. Three, four feet tall maybe... it had to be kicked. As I approached it I gave it the strongest kick I could, spraying snow everywhere. I stepped back and watch chunks fall and splatter all over a car I hadn't before noticed, about a yard from the pile. I followed the snow as it fell on the roof and the hood and hit the windows, and then noticed the gentleman sitting in the front seat of the car. He was glaring at me with the coldest stare, as if I had just egged his dog or something. I apologized, but my headphones were on, so I'm not sure if I actual said it or just mouthed it. I guess he wouldn't have heard me anyway. Then I laughed and couldn't stop. I grinned all the way home. I found all the up beat songs I could sing to on the train. I don't know if I sang them out loud or just mouthed them. I'm sure the former would have annoyed the other passengers on the train.

I should work on that... making sure I don't sing out loud when my music is turned up a little loud.

"I will kiss you on the cheek, and you will call it treason."

You smell funny.

2007-12-07T23:04:00.000-06:00

The crazy smells in Chicago assault my nose. And when I feel nauseous, like last week, every smell downtown make me feel like I have to vom. I just thought I'd share that.

I've been noticing smells more lately. And no, I'm not pregnant. I got on the train a few days ago and a scruffy looking guy in a beat up leather jacket sat down next to me. He smelled just like my first boyfriend, Derek. I couldn't figure out was it was at first, a specific cologne or something, but right before he got off I figured it out. It was the smell of cheap orange juice and vodka. I found that interesting.

Street Art?

2007-11-08T10:24:00.000-06:00

"I realized that I don't care about your professional success. I want to know, when you are asleep at night, what you dream about."

Retiring a quote....

2007-10-30T09:34:00.000-05:00

"I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students when they take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole." -Unknown

UPDATE!

2007-10-29T13:44:00.000-05:00

I don't write in this much anymore. I don't suppose I have a need to. But I'll update anyway just so I can keep putting off that paper I have to write before noon tomorrow.

I had a little bit of a breakdown Saturday and yesterday, but I think everything is good again. Or will be soon, so I can stop stressing for now. I found I need to change a few things, especially my work habits, and actually make something for once. I'm going to art school and not making any art. I want to paint more than anything right now, so I'm going to bring my paints to figure drawing tonight. That's a start.

However, I also found that I really need to learn to loosen up. I was told I should get drunk or smoke pot. I don't think I should have to do those things to be comfortable around people, but I need to do something. I took a drag off a friend's cigarette when he went inside for something. It didn't make me feel any calmer, though I suppose one drag wouldn't; it just burned my throat and made me cough.

I don't know what I'm going on about exactly. I have a lot of things on my mind, but most I can't write about on here.

And now I have a Cheechy dog begging for my attention, so I'll go play with her and then write that paper.

whimper.

2007-08-26T15:03:00.000-05:00

I need people to hang out with. I'm bored. and a bit lonely.

bleck!

2007-08-11T11:02:00.000-05:00

I just realized how unhealthy I am. I had cold pizza for breakfast and cookie dough for lunch. That's gross. At least there was a little spinach on the pizza.

Teenager?

2007-08-11T10:07:00.000-05:00

I'm almost not a teenager anymore, just five more months or so. And that's got me thinking. I've had more than a handful of people tell me this summer that I don't act my age, but older. Shane's told me a couple times that I act more his age than he does, and he's about to turn thirty. One of his friends thought I was at least twenty-five. I suppose this can attributed to the fact that I've spent all summer hanging out with people no younger than 23, since everyone my age left for their respective homes. And up until now I've quite enjoyed it.

But now I'm wondering if I missed something. Should I have spent more time acting like a teenager instead of rushing to be an "adult?" But then don't all teenagers try to rush growing up?

I don't know. I guess everyone has their own pace, and it's not liek i can go back and redo it. But some days I feel too old for my age. I want to be able to have more fun, especially with people my age. I spend too much time taking too many things seriously.

brain fart.

2007-06-27T19:06:00.000-05:00

I had something ot write, but I forget what it was. I can think of a lot of things I could write about, but not which one I told myself to write about when I got home. Oh well.

"faith is the believing that everytime you must jump, either your feet will find ground or you will be taught to fly."

I wish I considered myself an artist.

2007-05-06T22:15:00.000-05:00

I started keeping a real journal. One of those handwritten ones in a sketchbook that I'd been wanting to buy for years with different sections of colored pages. I write in that now when I need to. I'll just use this to post fun things I come across online or stuff I want to remember. So, if you read this (which you apparently are doing now) don't expect much. Not that I ever posted much to begin with.

Adieu

meep.

2007-05-06T22:14:00.000-05:00

I feel sad, but I have no reason to, and I know it. I'm starting to think I do it for the attention...

“People who are homeless...

2007-04-21T14:39:00.000-05:00

...are not social inadequates. They are people without homes.”
-Sheila McKechnie

The homeless beggars are almlost always mentally unstable, and usually one can tell this by the fact that they almost always talk to themselves. One I passed today though made me stop and think. He was talking to himself, but sounded like he was going over a conversation he'd once had. "I said baby, I told ya, I asked why we gotta keep fighting like this? I asked my wife, I said, 'why we gotta keep fighting like this? It doesn't have to be like this'..."

2007-04-20T23:26:00.001-05:00

Why do I still feel so bleh?

Secret

2007-03-13T19:49:00.000-05:00

"Every single person has at least one secret that would break your heart. If we could just remember this, I think there would be a lot more compassion and tolerance in the world."

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

mmm hmmm. yep.

2007-03-09T14:40:00.000-06:00

"Tattooings are not only ornaments... they are not only emblems of nobility and symbols of rank in the social hierarchy; they are also messages fraught with spiritual and moral significance... not only to imprint a drawing onto the flesh but also to stamp onto the mind all the traditions and philosophy of the group."

- Claude Levi-Strauss

-------------------------
to do:
* narrow idea, subject
* find and decide on words . . .
* practice on oranges or pig legs
* meet Sara, noon Monday, Sharp Building

Detour

2007-03-07T14:22:00.000-06:00

I walked through the park to class instead of the busy streets. Listening to music thanks to Ray's iPod, I was in quite a good mood. I passed a park security guard and smiled. He grinned and told me that he wished everyone would smile like I did.

So, smile.

More to store.

2007-03-01T21:02:00.000-06:00

"We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

Storage.

2007-02-27T22:55:00.000-06:00

"A man only truly knows himself when he can say 'I dreamt I killed a man. And I liked it.' "

"When you have to jump, know that one of two things will happen. Either your feet will find ground or you'll learn how to fly."

"In a world dedicated to distraction, silence and stillness terrify us."

"My life isn't worth living without LOVE."

"There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

Live through this, and you won't look back..." Stars

bleh

2007-02-20T16:41:00.000-06:00

I need a hug.

Chicago...

2007-02-07T20:51:00.000-06:00

I drove my car yesterday. It hadn't been run since friday (less than a week) and the bettery had already died. I assume from the cold as it has been wicked-ass cold and my car is outside in a parking lot. I asked a fwe people to help me jump my car, and finally caught some guy about to leave the parking lot. He said he didn't know how, which didn't matter because I didn't need him to know how, I just needed his car, but I thought it was common knowledge for any car owner to know how to jump a vehicle. He also didn't have any jumper cables and said it was the first time he'd ever opened the hood of his car. I said "oh, is it new?" Nope. He'd had it over a year. . . . ? I was quite surprised. I guess I probably shouldn't be, but everyone should know how to jump a car, no?

So, as I said, I drove my car yesterday, and decided that it would be a good idea to at lesat start it up again today so the battery won't be dead by friday when I plan on driving home for the weekend. I took the subway down State street to the parking lot. At the foot of the stairs up to the street was a bum lying across the floor and a cop standing beside him telling people to just step over him. By just glancing at the bum, he looked slightly uncomfortable, like he'd managed to get himself frozen to the ground or something stupid like that. But I walked by and went up to my car, taking note of the blue flashing lights across the street and an ambulance/fire dept. vehicle pulling up behind them. The car had a bit of trouble starting, but it did start. After one day, it had nearly died again. I'm going to assume it's just the cold weather, but I should probably get the alternator tested soon just in case.

Anyway, sitting in my car, waiting for it to warm up, I saw two college-aged kids and a black guy come out of the subway and walk over to the fence right beside my car. The black guy had his back up against the fence, and the shorter college kid kept looking around suspiciously. The taller kid started patting down the black guy and took out a cd player and wallet from the guys pockets, so, assuming he was being robbed, I held down the horn of my car while I reached for my cell phone. The two guys just looked irritated and shot me dirty looks before showing me their police badges. Apparently they weren't college kids. oops.

So, a few minutes later I drove off, came back to my parking spot, and walked down to the subway. The cops and the ambulancy-vehicle thing were all gone, but frozen to the ground where the bum had been was the remains of a cut up jacket. Apparently he had been frozen there.

So, that was my evening. exciting. I hope my car works tomorrow.

Comments!

2007-02-05T20:46:00.000-06:00

I just realized whilst messing around that the comment settings were limited to other Blogger users only. That's changed now, so you can leave me messages too!

*hint hint*

<3

brrrr.

2007-02-03T18:43:00.000-06:00

Without the windchill, it's -1 degree(s) outside. I don't think I want ot know what the "real feel" temperature is.

I went to Target to buy some gloves and boots, and a few other things. They didn't have any gloves. And they didn't have any boots. (Other than a few pairs in the men's which were far too large and a few in little boys which were far too small.) So, disappointed, I bought everything else I needed, paid, and left.

I stepped outside and my hands imediately began to burn from the wind, so, carrying bags in each hand, I pulled my coat sleeves as far around my hands as possible for the two block walk to the subway. By the time I made it that far, my fingers were red and completely numb. I couldn't unbend them from around the bags to get my U-Pass out of my pocket. After a few minutes, they started to tingle and burn again.

I have never experienced cold that severe before. I'm not going outside again for awhile. I'll buy some gloves on eBay and have them mailed to me here.

Oh yeah,

2007-02-01T00:35:00.000-06:00

and I did drive today. It made me happy. And I now have a parking lot, so I don't have to worry about my car anymore. Jante and Eric went with me driving around the city. Eric directed me to a gas station, and then to a very good Japanese restaurant for dinner, and then back to our street so I could find my new parking lot. I think I'll need to buy an ice scraper before I take it out again though, as the lot's above ground and not covered. Oh well.

Eric suggested a short road trip to Green Bay in Wisconsin sometime this semester. I'm excited about that. I like roadtrips, and a bay sounds nice. :D

Anyway. I had a nice evening. That's all.

Quote of the day:

2007-02-01T00:31:00.000-06:00

"It's hard to tell when to suck or when to blow, and which hole to suck when and which to blow."

(Slightly paraphrased statement about learning to play the harmonica. Perhaps it was funnier in person. :\ )

woo. back at school.

2007-01-30T13:43:00.000-06:00

MMM...here's a list of random new things that I may expand upon later:

I got a new journal...one that requires a pen, not a keyboard. I like it.

I'm going to a meeting in a couple hours to be an RA next year.

I get to drive tomorrow! To a parking lot! and around...because I like to drive.

I liked class today. It made the Bible interesting- as a piece of literature, not religion.

I need my boyfriend. My hormones are driving me crazy. And I miss him terribly.

I have guppies now! I used to think guppies were ugly simple looking fish, but they're not. They're pretty.

I have to go to art history tomorrow. :(

The high Saturday is nine (09) degrees, not including the wind chill.

I think I should start exercising, but I lack the motivation.

I still haven't completely unpacked.

I want to paint, but I'd rather nap.

I'm going to go nap now, before my meeting.

Bye bye.

Been awhile...

2007-01-10T22:58:00.000-06:00

I actually had something earlier that I wanted to remind myself to write about, and I remembered to write, but not what it was to write about. So...an overall update:

I'm at my Dad's. yay. I like this town. It's a nice escape. I'm actually really looking forward to going back to Chicago though. I want my room back. Out of the five or so places I have to "live" in at this moment, my dorm's the only one that feels like "home." I just wish Sam could be there too.

I miss him already. I'm in the same city, but it's my first night in awhile not sleeping beside him. That makes me kinda sad. and that means Chicago's gonna be quite lonely.

G'night.

I never remember my dreams.

2006-12-16T18:42:00.000-06:00

But when Sam called me at about 5:30 this morning (I'd only been asleep for about two hours,) I must have been dreaming about my Core class. I had to find my way through a tangled mess of plaster and chicken wire to find the phone under my pillow. I got up to use the restroom and while sitting on the toilet (as all magnificent ideas come to those sitting on toilets,) I was thinking about how I could clear all of that plaster and wire shit out of my bed so I could actually breathe and sleep comfortably, when I suddenly realized that it was just a dream. The plaster and chicken wire didn't exist, and the only reason I couldn't breathe was because I still have that monstrous cold. Then I was severely confused, and when back to bed with some cough drops.

The End.

S E T ! ! !

2006-12-13T00:13:00.000-06:00

Saturday night, when Jeni and Robert were over, I made them play SET with me. Jeni, after returning to her room that night, found SET's official website and sent me a link. I was uber excited; it was the highlight of my entire week. That game is wonderful.

Better yet, the site has a daily version where you have to find six sets in the twelve cards given. Weekly, winners are drawn for a prize! Which is another game by the same company.... I WANT TO WIN IT! It doesn't look quite as good as SET, but I think it'd be fun to try.

Anyway. I rarely show enthusiam for anything, so you should know this must be an amazing thing. If you haven't played this game before, come over here NOW and learn it.

Oh, and here's the website for the daily game/contest: SET Daily Game

^^ the super-cool background I downloaded from the Official Site (and then edited in photoshop)

Zaz!

p.s.- six more days until I go home !

Art School Confidential

2006-12-10T20:31:00.000-06:00

wasn't a very good movie. The company was nice though.

I think I'm sick. Sore throat, headache, exhaustion, over-all icky feeling, yeah. Just a cold I'm sure; I'll stop whining now.

I can't wait to go home. I don't know if my fish will survive a month without me. I need to buy a timer for their light and those tablets that feed them for a few weeks or whatever. I hope they make month long ones... I'd be quite upst if I came back and my fish were all dead.

Assuming I can come back. My account is still on hold and the financial aid office is ridiculous. They don't know what they're doing in there. I here something different every time I go in, and the last email I got from them said they've never seen me come in at all! I must now spend my lunch brak tomorrow walking over there, yet again, to see what's new. I know all of the good classes are full by now, but I'm hoping I'll be able to register at all at this point.

It's the last week of class (except for painting, of which there are two more)...I'm beginning to stress out a bit. grrr.

I need to go draw. I have work to do.

Adieu.

And Why is the Bible Better Than the Quran?

2006-12-04T23:11:00.000-06:00

I'm not one to post political stuff, but this made me laugh. Some poeple are such stubborn jackasses, they think only their tranditions and religions make sense.

As he prepares to become the first Muslim in Congress, Rep.-elect Keith Ellison says the Constitution gives him the right to take the oath of office on the Quran, and that's what he intends to do Jan. 4.

...The "argument" against it:

"When all elected officials take their oaths of office with their hands on the very same book, they all affirm that some unifying value system underlies American civilization," Prager wrote. "If Keith Ellison is allowed to change that, he will be doing more damage to the unity of Americans and to the value system that has formed this country than the terrorists of 9/11."

Yeeaaaahhh. Riiight.

Taking an oath is nothing more than a symbolic action anyway. If He's not Christain, what symbolism does the Bible hold? That's pointless. Gah. I don't think I need to comment any more on this. It's simply ubsurd.

Read the article here.

Uhhh. Untitled.

2006-12-04T19:32:00.000-06:00

Ummm...so those little cluster of tree-like things in the pictures in the previous posts are tiny castle-ish things. The photography is a bit shitty. I apologize. The only camera I have at the moment is on my phone.

We had the last visiting artist for the semester. Which also means the last free dinner. But this time was nice. The artist was Cat something. I already forgot her last name. But her website is here: http://www.microrevolt.org ...so go to it.

My current work has no purpose or meaning. I just want to paint. Is that bad?

Current Work:

2006-12-03T21:55:00.000-06:00

Tell me whatcha think...pretty please. They're all pretty small 'cept for the last one, which is still in progress ot look similar to the image directly before it. It's the only one on canvas too. All are oils (not watercolor!) yep yep...

Now that you know what a blog is...

2006-12-02T02:24:00.000-06:00

Dear Sam,

Just in case you decide to take an interest in my random rants and posts, keep in mind that if I'm complaining about some aspect of our relationship, it's just a release for me. Ya know?

I love you, and I always will. Despite our problems.

And I can't wait to see you. I miss you terribly.

Yours,
Me

One more thing tonight...

2006-12-01T22:07:00.000-06:00

It snowed today! Like crazy. I loved it. It made me not mind waking up at eight to go to class. Here's some pictures from my phone:

I'm Confused.

2006-12-01T21:57:00.000-06:00

I had a headache today that hurt so much I couldn't even cry until I was feeling better. I think I've been taking to many pain killers lately. I vary them...aspirin one day, tylenol pm, excedrine, naproxen (or whatever) the next. I used to be able to take a nap and wake up feeling better, but lately that seems to make it worse. Oh well.

Back to the confusion...

I'm confused about Sam. But that seems to occur just as often as those headaches. Hmm. I suppose if anyone reads this he/she will perhaps wonder what confuses me exactly, but that I, too, am confused about. So I can only leave it there.

Plus I'm pmsing badly at the moment, so it may be a good idea for me to keep my mouth shut for a few more days. I was once asked how anyone can trust a living thing that spends a week at a time bleeding without dying from it. I wonder that myself sometimes...

The Epitome of Holiday Consumerism:

2006-12-01T13:00:00.000-06:00

"Don't Forget the Most Important Person on Your List: YOU."
-Apple Email Advertisement

This is an entry just for Rachel.

2006-11-29T20:40:00.000-06:00

I love you! and I'll be home soon...

FUCK!

2006-11-11T21:14:00.000-06:00

Why can't I seem to avoid agruments? They're everywhere, no one gets along anymore. My boyfriend and I fight now, people on my floor never seem to stop fighting, I read the news and there's fighting constantly - from war to petty shit like a state football team fighting with an artist who painted a picture of them - and even on facebook (where everyone should be nice to each other because no one is forced to deal with anyone) every group I look at has someone arguing over something else with somebody. It's ridiculous. I'm sick of it.

And my betta fish is dying. He's losing color now.

Goddamnit. This is depressing.

Confessions of some sort.

2006-11-11T16:57:00.000-06:00

Dear Sam,

I want to try an experiment; something I think you've tried before, but it has to be my choice for me to be able to accept it. I'm going to give us time apart. I won't call you for at least the next five days, five being the half-way point between now and when I get to see you. I considered waiting the entire ten, but I know I've had a hell of a time going two days without talking to you, so five will be an accomplishment and a starting point for me. If I can go five, then I can go ten. And when I can show myself that I can do it and be fine, I will no longer have to.

I am doing this for you just as much as I'm doing it for me. I denied it last night, but I do know that I'd be fine crying to you every night and letting you fix my problems for me. But I also know that you can't fix any of them, and even if you could, it's not hardly fair to make you try.

This in no way means that you can't call me. (I secretly hope that you will call me at least every couple days.) But I need you to want to talk to me and not call because I told you to. And if/when you want to get off the phone, don't let me keep you on, even if I'm crying. I will need to know that you love me, and if I'm doing better, I need you to encourage me and tell me that. Treat me like a small child if you must; that's about the level of my emotional stability at the moment anyway. I want you to be proud of me and think I'm a strong person again. You use to tell me those things, and those words have meant more to me in the past than you'll ever know. I want to be able to hear them again.

What I expect to accomplish here is some sort of balance. I know I can be strong when you need me, but you don't need me anymore. Knowing that upsets me quite a bit, because if you don't need me there's no reason for you to keep me around (unless I'm pretty enough to be your trophy girlfriend). I need to get to a point where I stop needing you enough for you to know that you can talk to me again. I need to be stable enough so that I can listen and you can trust me to listen well.

Victor Hugo

2006-11-09T14:37:00.000-06:00

I just found out the other day that Victor Hugo not only was a writer, but also a painter! That amazed me, and now I love him even more. That's all I have to say; I wanted to share that with someone.

Victor Hugo
(verso) Lace impression, spectral form ca.1855
Pen and ink wash on blue paper

Victor Hugo
Town with tumbledown bridge, 1847
Ink wash on paper

testing 1 2 3

2006-11-03T01:03:00.000-06:00

Just a test entry to see what it looks like and to have something here. I'm making a website to attach this to, so it maay be awhile before I get back to it.

Xx